Our Chef's name is Mud

If there is one thing that I do hate is when opportunity comes knocking, and yourself, and everyone you worked with that evening fell victim to it. Especially, when the opportunity should never have presented itself. A door left open to a Banquet room that leads to the inner bowels of the workplace, is all the opportunity that a person needed. Even if that person walked into the hotel with no intention to steal anything, opportunity with a capitol 'O', was all the temptation he/she needed to easily grab some goodies. And as luck would have it for this opportunist, all staff that were on duty were too busy to be near any back areas.

The staff bathrooms are located just down a hallway from where the back exit of that banquet room is located. The bathrooms are also staff change rooms and contain staff lockers. Most staff don't even put locks on these doors, for it is a staff only area and we've never had a serious problem with staff going through other's belongings, let alone anyone else.

So, a banquet door gets left open, and an evil opportunist takes advantage of the situation and pilfers through staff washrooms and takes as many personal items that he could from unlocked lockers. And then the discovery, first by a dining room chef that has lost her purse and cell phone. The alert was made to on duty management, mainly Maggie and me. Then the other staff on duty heard of the locker raid and went to check their personal space. And yes, more staff found their lockers had been raided and goods taken. Including mine!

Well, now we do the right thing and phone the RCMP to report this heinous crime of all crimes to try to get relief and justice. Each and every person that had their space violated had to report their missing items to the Officer. While I was compiling my list of 5 dress shirts and a T-shirt, and others were phoning their missing cell phones for a possible worlds dumbest criminal candidate to answer, a revelation came to mind. Our Executive Chef is an email buddy and sends me many many jokes via the net, but he also is aware that I'm an avid computer, well, err, uhmmmm, clears throat, geek. Yes I said it, I'm a non-glasses-wearing-with-scotch-tape-on-nose-bridge, non-pocket-protector-with-eight-pens-with-chewed-ends, non-palm piloted, non-iPodded-pPodded-or-anyPodded, middle aged non-viagra-using (touch wood-tee hee), but nonetheless a COMPUTER GEEK. Knowing this, chef also emails me many programs and/or links to programs for my interests such as art, geography, freeware, and many other things. My revelation, oh yes--focus Frank, Chef sent me an email that stated that you can track the location of your cell phone using GPS technology. This is the email content:

This is unbelievable. You can track anyone via their cell phone by using the "satellite positioning system." Click on the link below, type in the phone number with the area code and click "start search." Check this out! Amazing. If you are a little uncomfortable doing this, call your spouse's cell phone first.

I had logged on to this site when I received the email, but, at the time, I knew where my cell phone was, and I had to log off or I would be late for work---again. I mentioned this site to the Officer thinking that I could finally help and maybe get some sort of resolution happening for all victims involved in that evenings caper. The Officer gave me one of those eyebrow raised you've got to be kidding looks, but that didn't phase me because we all know how technologically behind the Police are. So I asked for Breanne's cell phone number and excused myself to the back offices to log onto my yahoo to find this "crime fighting" web page, or so I thought.
I had found Chef's email, and now I was really excited because the page was loading.

Initially the page asks for a valid cell phone number to start tracking with, which I entered. Waited till the server recognized the cell phone number. Here is a screen shot:

It was accepted, and a satellite map started to scroll, zoom in, and scroll some more, zoom in again, now I'm really getting excited because not only is it working, it seems to be giving decent resolution like Google Earth does, so maybe, just maybe.....Then it happened.
I had to log off I was soooooo mad, sooooooooo embarrassed, and now I had to face the eyebrow-poised-waiting-to-say-I-told-you-so-Officer, and all of the victims that....
.....Well,......
.....That, uhmmm.....
......I know....."Sorry guys but the site just has minimal resolution, to get in closer it wants a credit card. I don't want to upload my number here because these servers for the hotel are not secured and they do need authorization from the GM or Accountant to use Credit Card scripts." That was my get out of "falling for stupid" story to save everyone involved from embarrassment, but mostly me.

Everything in this little post is absolutely true, and if you dare follow this link, to see why I now have named my Chef Mud. And the worst part is, the very next morning Chef had heard about the robbery, and he had heard that I tried to use a GPS cell phone tracking site to solve the crime. If you do click on the link, you'll see how a not so innocent little joke could turn into the most timely of unplanned practical jokes that could ever be pulled on someone.
Chef told everyone and anybody about the best practical joke he never had to pull on anyone.
Mud, I say, his name is Mud!

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Seeing that it must be joke day for me (see today's previous post below), I've included a couple of new ones I've received lately from that Mud guy I mentioned above.
I take no responsibility for the content of these jokes, for I am much more gender sensitive than that Mud guy.


Does anybody know how to upload a Power Point Presentation?
Or how to extract images from a Power Point Presentation?
I have a few very good presentations that I'd like to share, but I only have the
Power Point viewer so I can't extract anything from them.
Thanks and have a Great Monday!