Sunday, September 02, 2007

Quick, Hand me a deck of cards

Regular readers of my blog know that I have been a bartender for many years. It has been a wonderful journey, rather than just a job. I really enjoy working with the public when they are out having fun for that night on the town. That fun can become quite contagious no matter how busy you might be. I've worked in comedy clubs, elite lounges, high-paced night clubs, pubs, and even the dreaded sports bar. Don't get me wrong here, I still have lots of fun working in sports bar venues, but my problem is I'm not an avid sports fan. I just don't understand the hoopla a crowd can have watching a handful of men exhaust themselves on a grass field that's affectionately called the "grid iron",

or the excitement of a hockey fight.

Watching baseball
Sorry, nodded off for a moment.

Please, don't even mention all the pay per views for fighting sports like boxing, UFC, or the steroid-infused-testosterone-ballet/soap opera called Wrestling.

I did play all/most of these sports in school, and even later as an adult. I love the exercise, the fun and camaraderie that these sports provide when playing them. I was pretty good at most sports I tried too. I was a little small for football, but I was a quick runner and could avoid many tackles. Hockey was the tough one for me, I'm just not a really good skater. I'm Canadian and have a hard time playing hockey. I think there must be a purgatory/hell somewhere for Canadians that are not good at this sport. I just don't understand the spectator part when your sitting at home or in a bar just watching these sports. I do understand routing on your favorite teams or players for any sport, and I enjoy going to live games of (almost) any sport with friends when the opportunity arises. When being a spectator is taken to such a serious level that you almost have to become a statistician just to converse with these people, well...Thank God for my experiences in comedy clubs because I learned to banter with the comedians as they did their shows. Some comedians (many of whom became or were quite famous) have told me many times that I had a keen sense of timing. I was quite pleased because my timing is not...

lets say..

Using my comedy club experience was the only way that I could divert the fanatic sports fan from involving me in an in-depth discussion on why Cassious Clay changed his name, or why the Toronto Blue Jays may never win another series, or God forbid if anyone mentions "The Great One" in a Canadian sports bar. That could be a six hour discussion in it's own right. If good ol' 99 came up in chat, and it was getting too deep and detailed for me to keep up, I'd usually throw in "I wouldn't care if the first number on his Jersey was a 6, I still wouldn't face-off with him." That would usually lighten the mood so we could get back to more appropriate bar talk such as Politics, Religion, Rock and Roll, and Sex. Especially Sex.

I know I'm probably being a little too critical about the average spectator, but think about it. You own a sports bar filled with many happily drinking men and many, many TV's, and you want to make it a busy sports bar.

Why isn't Ladies Beach Volleyball the #1 sports bar spectator sport?

Ladies diving?

Or even Floor gymnastics?

Do these sport only become air-able during Olympics?

Oh, I know. It's because these sports don't have Half-time shows or the surprises that can pop up/out/down in these shows to keep the fans waiting? and wanting? more for the next Super Bowl.
Oh, the suspense of the shows???

When it comes to spectator sports at home, how about Strip Poker.
Texas Hold Em is making a big splash on sports networks,

so why not air a time honored game of Canya Hold Em.

Hell, host your own game and become a participant instead of just a spectator.
It's a fair game for Men and Women of all ages and abilities alike.

Unless the Dealer's, I mean the Dealer has stacked the deck.


Anonymous said...

Hey, if I were a guy, I'd think beach volleyball is the most incredible sport out there. I do like some sports and the whole sports experience in a bar or with friends. But I like all those other neglected sports, too. I have to admit, I've never played poker, strip or otherwise. I need someone to teach me, Frank.

FoxxFyrre said...

Just poking fun at the "way too fanatical male sports fan". When I get tired of listening to all the stats that they can toss out with ease, I usually poke fun at their male bravado by their being a spectator of male-played sports. Teasing them by saying you just like to watch men pile on top of one another (football) and then throw Women's beach volleyball at them as a real male spectator sport. They usually laugh and say you got something there. Not one of them can toss out a stat or a name on the sport though.

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