Thursday, February 24, 2011

Dating Profiles version 101101Alpha

Dating Profiles
Started by Mimi Lennox, still going strong with Bud Wiser, I am going to add my two cents to it. When I play this, I usually put my own spin, or theme to it. This week I think I will respond to the profiles with a little bit of Star Trek

1. Please don't judge me by my posted pic...better ones to come soon!!!
 Get a hold of yourself Chekov, you're only 21.

2. Life isn't puppies, kittens, and rainbows all the time.
But Klingon's love doggy style.

3. My goal is to get back to me over this next year.
Captain, I think we've accomplished that mission.

4. I can find the good in anyone and feel like I am open and trusting.

Resistance is futile.

5. I give great massages.
I'm a Doctor not a magician.

6. Please drop me a line if you are interested in me or my cultural background.
I am operating at normal parameters.

7. When it comes right down to it, I enjoy putting a smile on someone's face.
And yes, I'm really this big.

8. I love the outdoors and being active. Loving sports and the outdoors is a plus.
And then I'm going to ram it right up your........

9. If you are looking to someone to grow older with, look no more.
Now you know what the "Q" stands for.

10. I appreciate and find the beauty in all seasons, though autumn is my favorite.
Not me, I hate turning orange.

Effing monotones, they sure have their issues.

That's it for this weeks Dating Profiles. Will return with Pickup Lines through the Ages.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Took The Plunge

Well, I finally got the guts and just go ahead and do it. When I first started blogging, I started with a little blog to feature my art. Shortly after, a new blog started--The Honk'n'Holl'r-- and that other blog eventually disappeared into the ether. I haven't shut it down or anything like that, I just stopped using it over time, for it was beginning to be taken over by comment spammers. So I ended up not posting any art at all, but now that's all changed.

I took the plunge and started a full website in which to feature my art. It has all the bells and whistles that anyone would need to build a website with. My needs are much simpler, so I really suits my needs. I do hope you come and check out the website, comment on some pics, and maybe even join as a member.

I just opened the site today, and have a lot of work to do to get it where I want, but I hope you do come check it out. Just Click here to check it out.

Hope to see you there

Friday, February 18, 2011

History's best Pick-up lines

Dating is one thing. Single is another. Gender differences are for life, but there are exceptions (the exceptions are out of the scope of this post, Cher's daughter/son comes to mind though). The only thing complicated about the idea of coupling, or preparing oneself to couple, is simply the introduction.  As you can already tell, this is from the male perspective and (I'm really, really sorry about that). Human history dictates that the "Gentleman" would have a direct, titillating, interesting, and fully captivating statement that would hold the attention of his specific desire (target/woman) and she would be held captivated only long enough to respond with;

"My good Sir, one would not talk to a Lady with such impudence."  

In our modern parlance, we describe the Gentleman's introduction as "The Pick-up Line."

I am talking about the average Joe's introduction, not the Jock, the CEO, the nerd, the geek, the most handsome, or the most intelligent, for these gentleman have their pick-up lines polished and ready to sling at a moments notice. Wether they are successful or not with their line, they will protect, polish, and put it back in its holster for later use.  For us average Joe's, it is not quite that easy. Never-mind coming up with polished ready to wield line, we still have to approach our intended target which can be just as difficult, or even more so. But alas, the gods of the ether have come up with a great solution for us average Joe's called the Internet and more specifically, dating sites of all types ready for us to type up our life's wants and put ourselves out there. All this, and without fear of face to face contact.

Yes, the Internet has helped many a Joe find their true loves, and vice versa. Profiles are everywhere. E-Harmony is on TV way too much. Successful approach for the average guy--sure must be. But for many, many years I was a bartender and witnessed all of the attempted coupling by average Joe's hitting on not so average women. The Internet was not a part of it back then, for a Joe had to pull out his best polished weapon, swallow twice, and then brandish it. And usually this dance was quickly followed by what is called, "The Put Down." From my safe vantage point from behind a bar, I would watch and listen carefully because the put downs are great entertainment. Women are sharp, and usually very, very funny. The poor Joe dusts himself off re-holsters his pick-up line and walks away like a wet puppy. Until he spies another target, reloads and WHAM, usually gets shot down again. Those were fun days watching Joe after Joe lose the coupling game over and over again. Eventually, any Joe does connect, but not until many attempts and several rewrites of their beloved pick-up lines.

My old bar-tending days got me thinking about pick-up and put down lines and how they may have evolved over years. Thanks to the power of the Internet, this research task did not take too long and I would like to share some of history's best pick-up lines, but just for the fun of it, I am going to pen the put downs.

Where better to start then the Middle ages:

1. Fair Maiden, you can scale my battlements any day!
But Sir, for that one must wield a sturdy lance.

2. What a fine set of chalices you have.
I agree good Sir, but is that a kerchief in your codpiece?

3. I am beset by this dragon in my loins, and only you can quench its fire! 
I must inform my brother, for he can slay it.

4,When I was put on the rack in the inquisition, my limbs weren't the only things that got stretched.

I say, those are big ears you have.

5.If I were a horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the saddle. 
I see you've been gelded.

6. Your chastity belt would look great on the floor of my sleeping chamber.
You mean it's small enough to pick a lock?

I hope you enjoyed the medieval pick-up lines. I will be back shortly with another chapter of Pick-ups and Put Downs through the ages.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Dating Profiles: The return

I haven't played this in a while, and I am hoping to have just a little bit of fun with it. These are snippets of real Dating profiles, and my mission is to go HUH? as a response. Started by Mimi Lennox, still going strong with Bud Wiser, I am going to add my two cents to it. When I play this, I usually put my own spin, or theme to it. This week, I think I will use my old catoon buddies from Loonie Toons.

1. Well lets see I am driven to know what I want.

You should have turned left at Albuquerque.

2. My work as a psychotherapist is both rewarding and challenging.

But, Mon Cherrie? You know my memoire only beats for you...And we've got this couch? Mon amour?

3. I’m intelligent yet still have so much to learn, sophisticated yet simple; dynamic, exciting, adventurous but stable; easy-going, respected, humble, patient and will fight against injustice.
Yeah, but hunting season is still two months away, gheese!!!!!

4. I believe two is better than one, so I'm looking for a partner who feels the same.

Suffering suackatash, I'm not splitting the kitty with anyone!

5. Hot air ballooning, parasailing, speed boats, these are some of the things that I enjoy.

Hey, I'm the invader around here.

6. This not really my thing, but here it goes. I’m a pretty laid back. Things I like to do include, hanging with friends. I am willing to try new thinks.

I knew I taw a Putty Tat..

7. I am asian I was born race in the Philippines I came to the us when i was 19 yrs. old i was mired the age of 17 yrs. old i am slender.

And I'm from Australia, wanna go?

8. I'm in no rush-- but also don't plan to become a serial dater.

Not with my herd.

9. The constant evolution of self makes this difficult to write, as does the filter of subjectivity

Just do it, and when you know where it falls, you will know where it spins.

10. Most people when they first meet me, first say "Wow your tall", I guess the second thing they notice is my curly hair.
Look Higher.

Thanks for playing with dating profiles this week. 
Mr. Lance  has come up with a new blog, and I am jumping on board.  Lance and I are both actively involved with the hotel industry, and we want to have some fun because of it. Lance created a new blog that is literally designed after a hotel. I found this really funny, and now we are collaborating on the project. Please come and visit, for it is a 4.5 star resort hotel biog--definitely the first of its kind. One of our first posts is simply myself applying for a job at this establishment. Click here . We are going to have some fun with this new blog.
I will post new s%^t here when we do post on the new blog. Hope you join in. It is one Hotel where anything will go...And yes it is not a real hotel.

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