Friday, September 17, 2010

Dear Diary: Episode One

Dear Diary

Episode One
A Fictional Real-time Collaboration By Foxxfyrre and Mr. Lance Using Google Docs 

Remember the old dairies that we kept all to ourselves when we were young? We kept it hidden. It had its own lock and key, but it could be picked by any hairpin. We would be beside ourselves if one of our siblings or -- god forbid -- parents were to find it and read it. Then in later years, some of us progressed this process into journals. Even blogs were designed to be an online journal that we could all keep, and even share.
What if that diary that we all spilled our guts into had a mind of its own?
What if the diary commented on everything that the writer entered?
What if everyone could read the diaries comments except the writer of the diary?
What if the diary knew everything about the writer, every secret, every heartbreak, everything?
Thanks to Google Docs Collaborative Editing Technology, Mr. Lance and I are going to show the “What ifs” as I, Foxxfyrre, play the Diary, and Mr. Lance plays the Diary Writer.
The Diary Writer will be in normal text, and The Diary will be in coloured text. The Diary will also provide all of the images for the post as a visual for its comments.
Oh, and I forgot one what if. What if the diary was a little bit of a smart ass?

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Today was an interesting day to say the least,  kind of funny now that I think back.
It started out normal, I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, had a shower, got dressed and went to work. But you forgot to shave didn’t ya. Only on my drive to work did I find out that for some reason I was very farty.  Not just a little gassy like one might expect after a night of Mexican food, and Russian Vodka.  A LITTLE GASSY? Yeah right. You still keep me under your pillow like you have all your life. You know how many DUTCH OVENS I had to endure last night?
These were hardcore paint peelers - I had to open all four car windows just to make it to work without passing out.   - LOL, I hope no one ever reads this! Oh, I so hope your mom finds me...Then she’ll know everything Bwahahahahah.

I should have called in sick Should have called in dead. Three week old dead Zombies don’t smell that bad, and they don’t chase after you as fast neither
after the eye watering discovery was made on the drive - bout an hour after I got to work was the Department Head Meeting (everyone showed up today) YUP fifteen of us all huddled around a boardroom table in the Small and crowed Richmond Room. and YUP, you guessed it, still farty.  Although everyone pretended not to notice and put up with it so not to upset the boss, I think they were passing notes and laughing on the inside. They were passing face masks, I’m sure.  The worst part was the end of the meeting when the Boss was presenting the last of the revenues - I let a  five alarm blazer roar and everyone busted out laughing.  Guess the joke was on them cause they soon realized that they had to breath during the laughter - they all had to run out of the room, and some even gaged.  Good thing they like me or I don’t think they would like me anymore.

I can’t believe that I actually wrote about farting but it was a major part of my day. LOL

Went to KFC for lunch and had a Spicy Big Crunch, The girl that made my sandwich was amazingly HOT,  Another addiction of yours, if you’d only learn to cook. God you watch enough Chef Ramses that you should be able to fricassee you own chicken by now. 
I don’t think she was wearing gloves - the chicken tasted kind of different. It was really good but I can not put my finger on the taste - I know it is something I tasted before...  I’ll get back to you if I figure it out...
Eleven herbs and spices, nooooo secret sauce. Haven’t you seen the movie “Waiters”. You got a death wish going on???

The afternoon went awesome, I got a lot of work done in the office. FYI Played World of Warcraft all day didn’t ya? If not, I know you blogged then,
I know you’re keeping another journal. What? You don’t think we talk? I even got hit-on by this sexy looking cougar. she’s in her early forties, but I think she will be an excellent Saturday night date next week - maybe she will teach me how to make french toast Sunday morning!  Lance, Lance, Lance. Don’t you remember your last COUGAR escapade? Yeah she was all that
 Two nights of the Matress Mombo and all that time you kept me tucked right under your pillow. And worse, when she did leave and broke your heart, I had to hear about it for a fortnight. Please, if this one happens, put a sock on every doorknob, and put me in the microwave, preferably on high so I don’t have to hear all that caterwauling. You always were a screamer.  Guess I will let you know how it went!!!   Boo-Yeah!

After work I grabbed a case of beer and turned on the Saskatchewan Roughrider game, they were playing the Calgary Stampeders.  Go Esks, Go Esks! Can’t help it I’m an Edmonton fan. 


Good old green and gold, Yup, and those very cold winter games. You can see those uhmmm pom poms a mile away.
I am so happy the Riders won 43 - 37 In overtime - I was born in Calgary - and now live in Riderville Sask  - I was torn the entire game! but the good guy’s won!!!    

After the game I decided to look through an old box of pictures and crap I had in a shoe box, I found a picture of myself and an old friend when we guest starred on Three's Company

I’m going to tape it here so I don’t loose it!

Anyway Time for bed! - until next time...NO, NO, NOT under the pillow again...Damn it. I hope that KFC wasn’t tainted.

That’s it for Foxxfyrre and Mr. Lance’s Dear Diary Epsode One. We hope you enjoyed our silliness here. In our next episode of Dear Diary, I, Foxxfyrre, will play The Writer, and Mr. Lance will play The Diary. I think he wants revenge for some of the pot shots I took. Tee Hee!

This post was brought to you by Collaborative Real-time Editor. Try it with a blog buddy, It’s fun!

P.S. All of the above is fictitious except the football game in case you were wondering.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Merger We Wrote

This is a duel post, Featured on 2 Blogs Foxxfyrre’s Honk’n’holl’r and Solitary Views It was written simultaneously by Foxxfyrre & Mr. Lance using Google docs and published on both. 

There once were these two little blogs, which for a long time went almost unnoticed until one day the powers of the Google (a very wise and powerful blizard -- that’s blogspeak for blog + wizard) cast a very unusual spell. This spell crossed the entire blogoshpere until it finally entranced Foxxfyrre the serf and Sir Lancecannot under its grasp. Foxxfyrre and Sir Lance now merged through the ethereal blanes (blog +planes) becoming one, but not one. With the Google spell fully cast, Foxxfyrre and Sir Lance only need to focus thoughts (as if we really can) and all appears as one entity, yet we are still granted power of individual thought.

To illustrate the powers of the Google, I, Foxxfyrre will now think only in Forrest Green, and Sir Lance will think only in....”What colour do you wanna be Lance?”
Red, that is a bolder pink...right?
You’re right, it does look a little pink.
It’s all good, I know I’m all man! (agreed??)
Just a sec, I’m looking for an all man pic that will address your colour issues.
This blog post is rated “R” (For Respectable)
I could not find an appropriate real man pic, but I did find your office chair.

<-- Not my real chair!

That’s ok, I found a picture on file...
Don’t Judge me!

No one is judging -- really???
So Lance, now that we are really under the spell of the Google Collaborative Real-Time Document Editing Spell, what should our first undertaking be??

Can Google teach us how to use Yahoo!  ?? That is something I never could understand... Oh wait... You said undertaking....   I don’t know, what can we undertake without getting in trouble?

Getting Google to teach us Yahoo....I think we’d have better luck selling mechanical bull rides in a geriatric ward.  

Or condoms to catholic school girls…
or Bibles to George Bush...
I think we are getting off topic here

Oops, still thinking about Catholic school girls.....
Well how about a 10 questions meme, I will ask 5 questions, and you answer, and you ask 5 and I’ll answer??

Ok, Fire Away... Just remember my Mother reads BOTH our Blogs !

1. When you reached puberty, what appeared first? The Froggy Voice, the whisker or what?


     Froggy or Whiskers?  My Frog had whiskers... I named him Buck!  
I remember him you had him stuffed and mounted outside a French cuisine Restaurant.

2. If you had the choice of any talent with the penalty that you would lose a talent in exchange, what would you want to gain, and what would you be willing to loose?
I don’t know about talents, but I do know that I want the x-ray vision super-power for reasons I’m sure I don’t have to explain…. As for what I’m willing to loose… I don’t know I’ll just forget how to play the piano or something.  

3. Name three things that you do want completed in your life before retiring?
    Sex, Drugs, & Rock n’ Roll  - First thing(s) that came to mind... and I’m sticking to it!

4. If you woke up tomorrow and found yourself  I’m going to stop you right there! My Mother reads this blog!!! You’ve seen it here first folks, the first ever Bloggus Interuptus!!! Yeah... Sorry bout that, but I know she’d call and wonder about what I do in the mornings. I really don’t want to have that conversation with Momzie again... Sounds like someone is a morning lumberjack, got caught chopping some morning trees did ya??

5. Okay, last question. Of all of the women out there who would have been your fantasy date? Date, not romance...

What era? Any time in history or present day, or maybe even in the future if you know something we don’t. Who would not want to underestimate the power of the Google at this point.
Come on, You don’t think Whoopi Goldberg would make an awesome date?
Don’t judge me... I think I just peed myself laughing...

Okay, your turn ask me five.

1. Google put another spell on you, you have just changed genders for 48 hours... what are you going to do with your 2 days?
First, I’m really going to find out where that damn spot is that no man can find. Second, I’m going to find out what Midol really does, for I’ve accidentally taken it (I thought it was Tylenol, that’s how bad my headache was) and they knocked me out cold for two weeks. Next, I’ll probably hunt for a comfortable bra -- you’ve seen my art and know that the Google will curse me with back-breakers. Finally, I think I’ll hunt for that spot again,  if just for getting it down to perfection’s sake---really.

2. If you owned your own island, and got to make it your own country, what would you call it? And why?
I would call it Copuland, for that is what life and liberty is about, ‘cept maybe the Taxes.

3. If you rubbed the lamp and got 3 wishes, what would they be?  
Are you allowed to ask for endless wishes?
Then, first I’d have to ask for Barbara Eden as Jeannie

(Don’t complain, you got a date with Whoopi). Then I would ask for a map to that spot that no man can find, especially if question one doesn’t happen. Then I would ask for something nice to affect everyone.

4. What is your earliest memory of puberty?   
I knew you would go there. I was very, very early to blossom. It made it quite difficult for me in school in the early 60’s. I went to Catholic School for grades 1

through grade 6,

and each year the Nun’s habits got shorter, the Nuns looked younger, and I am now sooooo going to hell.

5. If you got banished to your Island alone and could only bring 5 things, what would they be?
A dog for companionship. A blender for the Martguerita's (yes I do know how to distill liquor). A lazy-boy chair. A laptop with a super-strong wireless card and infinite battery life. And a picture of my wife and family.

Thanks for joining in on our little experiment. Lance and I had way too much fun playing with Google Docs and their real-time collaborative editing feature. We didn’t know where it was going to take us, but we hope you had fun with our initial result. We had so much fun putting this together on the fly in real time, that we decided that we are going to come up with a format to put together some fun, and hopefully entertaining posts. We are not sure exactly where we are going to go with it yet, but stay tuned..

A little meme challenge for those that love to meme. Email a blog buddy that you want to do a collaborative meme. If they agree, just use Google Docs and share the document with your blog buddy. You can then edit the post in real time, and even chat in the side bar as you are creating the post. Do the 10 Questions meme, as Lance and I did above. Use 5 of your own questions to ask your blog buddy to answer, and the blog buddy will do the same in return. Unlike a regular question and answer meme, you never know what is going to be asked or what the answer you are going to receive will be until it pops up in front of you. Then you both publish that document, which you can do right inside Google Docs.

Disclaimer: Foxxfyrre and Sir Lance(cannot) in no way represent the Google Corporation.  And for legal reasons, this post is fictitious.  Google is not known to cast any spell on anyone subliminal or otherwise... Or are they?

Disclaimer #2: Lance does not (in any way, shape or form -- well, shape maybe)  have any sexual identity issues (but I did catch him staring at my ass once).

Caution!!!: Never use Google Image search to find “Nun’s Habit” pictures with safe search disabled. My eyes are still burning, and I’m really soooooooo going to hell now......

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