Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Submissions for See It 'n' Write It

See It 'n' Write It is a simple prompt for writing that uses pictures.
This entries visual prompts were

And a final action, mood, or setting

Bud Weiser from Wtit Tape Radio posted his story entitled
Return to Nam

A poem Submission for See It 'n' Write It
By Maggie

You have sat for hours my love. You stare at the pieces as if they were alive.
You have not eaten or slept for days, anticipating your next move.
Following his every move.
Damn the computer, and this across the waters technology.

This game has gone across international boundaries.
And the longer you go on, the further we drift apart.
I cannot stay and watch you waste your life any longer.

Your life is slipping away. Our life is over.
I shall leave you now.
My knight to your King.
I’m sorry my love, but this is Checkmate.

Sleep now my love.
And await the next game that comes from across the waters.


Lixue and Salvatore
by Frank Sirianni

April 11, 1918

My Dearest Lixue,

Every day without you is agony. When I can close my eyes, all I see is you. When I wade through the trenches, gun and mortar fire all around me, I smell the sweet smell of lavender. A lavender that is you. I taste you, sweet as morning dew infused with honey, I taste you. Not one moment of this bloody war goes without the wanting, the yearning, the need for your caress. To touch you. To share a kiss, tasting our love.

They say this is the war to end all wars, Lord, I hope this is true. True and quick. For as soon as it is over, I'm not ever returning to England. I'm booking us passage to San Francisco, just as we talked about before I left Hong Kong to be in this damn battle. I can't bear to be away from you any longer. I don't have too much time to write you, the battle has been severe, but today the guns have slowed.

My Beautiful Snow,
Love and always,

May 27, 1918

My Salvatore My Love,

Every day is longer than the last. Without you, I'm empty inside. I worry everyday. But everyday I pray, I pray for your safe return. I return every full moon to the Pagodas of the 10,000 Buddhas and sit in the square just as we did so many months ago. Even though I am alone, you are there with me confirming our love, and melting my inner being. I can only imagine the hell you are going through, fighting some war that seems so distant.

The little news that we get of the war seems hopeful, Germany is showing signs of weakening. They say it is only a matter of time and Germany will surrender. I just pray that you stay safe and well till that time.

All my Heart
My savior

June 9, 1918

My Dearest Lixue,

They pulled us out of the last battle only to move us to a more bloody fight. I lost two friends this week, both were just young men that would have had a whole life ahead of them if is wasn't for this bloody war. I keep hearing that the allies are gaining a stronghold and that Germany is weakening and ready to surrender, but it doesn't seem that way in the trenches. Each fight just seems bloodier, more vile. All I can think about is when this tour of duty is over, and being with you. Every day is more laborious than the last without you.

When we're one again

June 21 1918

My Salvatore,

It seems that everyday, lately, we hear more and more news about Germany's weakening stance. The war may be over soon, at least that's what the papers are reporting. You could be coming home anytime now, but when you do return, there will be a little surprise for you. We are going to have a child. I didn't tell you earlier because I thought it might distract you on the battlefield. But now that it seems that you'll be coming home soon, I just couldn't keep it from you any longer. I'm due in August, and the doctors say everything is fine and going on schedule. Maybe the war will be over in time for you to be here for the birth of your baby. I wish it were so.

All My Love,

June 12, 1918

Dear Mrs. Lixue Sheppard

It is with our deepest heartfelt regret that we must inform you that your husband, Salvatore Sheppard was killed on the battle field June 11, 1918. I know it is of little consolation, but Salvatore died a hero to his troops, he fought with honor, he fought with conviction. Details of internment will follow in another communication.

Sincerest Condolences,
Lieutenant Major Richard Donner

November 15, 1934

Dear Lixie,

How are things in San Francisco, everything fine I hope. Your mother and father always had plans to go to San Francisco when the war was over. I've enclosed a few letters that I know that you are now ready to read. They are letters that your mother and father wrote to each other during the war. I've had them tucked away till I felt you were ready for them. Your mother gave them to me just before she passed away. She wanted me to give them to you so you could know them a little better, for you were just an infant when she passed. Your parents shared a true love, and from that love, I was blessed with raising the product of their love from bud to blossom. Take care Lixie, and through these letters may you see why we love and hold the memories of your parents with all our hearts. Enjoy your studies, I know you will do well, and don't forget to write...Often!

Keep in touch
Miss you much
Auntie Ming

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Finally, a magazine that is not all fluff and glamour.

!!!Warning, Subliminal Post!!!
For my Female readers, Please! use the red-filtered
reading glasses, and for the Men, Please! use the green-filtered glasses .
If you don't have a pair, any green and red cellophane paper will work as well.

Yes Guys, it's hot off the presses and promises to widen our
realm of experiences. ????? This magazine is devoted to making our marriages succeed. HELL, except for the sex parts. Written and published by a world renowned female psychologists, dominatrix (I didn't say it was all bad), all in an effort to uplift bury our spirits as husbands and girl toys. beer and Maxim magazines (but we can become sex objects again!). Cheap at half the price, On a very frosty day, Whipped (oooh spankings) is a sure-fire jolt to relationship doldrums.

My thanks to Maggie for telling Lola that I should get a lifetime subscription!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

See it 'n' Write It

After taking the Blogthings personality types that was featured in Gem's Gem-osophy blog this week and Found out that I am an ENTP-The Visionary
I figured that I now know why I do things just a little differently than most.
See It 'n' Write It is a perfect example of this.
What is it? A simple writing promp, but instead of using a word for a promp, I use three images chosen at random as the prompts, and an additional image to inspire an action, setting or mood for the story.
The following images were chosen at random using google image search. I use a random word generator for input to google.
Write a short-short story that incorporates all three images while using the fourth as an action or setting or mood for the story.
When completed, just comment or email me a link to the story and I will add it as a post for
See It 'n' Write It

And a final action, mood, or setting

Have fun--that's all it's meant for!
Let me know when you post it and I'll link back to the story

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Twenty Five Silly Questions

Silly Questions Meme

By Mimi

And Just got

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

2. How much cash do you have on you?

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?

4. Do you label yourself?

5. Bright or Dark Room? Which do I prefer?

6. Why is there always a missing question?

7. What does your watch look like?

8. What were you doing at midnight last night?

9. Where is your nearest 7-11?
(Now this is a silly question, everyone knows that beer comes
in six packs or dozens)

10. What’s a word that you say a lot?
aka, Holy Fuckfuck!

11. Who told you he/she loved you last?
(Didn't you see silly question #8? Right after Lola asked for a light)

12. Last furry thing you touched?
(I guess Google never heard of Furry Remote Control Cozys?)

13. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
(Just one more set of wedding pictures to chisel out, and then our Honeymoon, and then our first born, and then.....)

14. Favorite age you have been so far?

(I hear puberty is much more fun the second time roung though...can't wait)

15. Your worst enemy?
(There's just never enough)

16. What is your current desktop picture?
Reflections of Guilt by Frank Sirianni

17. What was the last thing you said to someone?

18. The last song you listened to?

19. What time of day were you born?
(--ish am)

20. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?

21. Do you consider yourself kind?
(I think I am, anyway)
22. What’s your life motto?

23. Name three things you have on you at all times.

24. Can you change the oil on a car?
(I think I can?)
25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Mimi's Dating Profile Contest Results

I must say that I really don't envy Mimi judging this contest every week. It's really is a fun thing to do, but comedy can be so subjective it is really difficult to say that this one is funnier than that one. Especially with the quality, and humor that this weeks contest contained in their comback lines. Everyone was just great, and I had many giggles throughout the evening.

I've followed last weeks contest format and will award the points as following:

Pink = 3 points The Funniest
Yellow=2 points
Green = 1 point

Blue = Uncontrollable comments by Foxxfyrre

But first Meet the Contestants! Don't forget to visit their sites and leave a congratulatory comment on completing this difficult competition.

They would appreciate it.

Mimi Lenonx Your host and First time contestant
Anndi from http://anndisluggage.blogspot.com
Ian Healy from EDog's Everything's Page
Bud Weiser from WTIT
Lyn from Last Minute Lyn's Life
Spinnerz from http://sp1nners.blogspot.com/
Limey from http://a-limey-in-lime-rock.blogspot.com/
Karen from http://reasonenough.blogspot.com/
Anyhow from http://anyhowblogs.blogspot.com
Uncle Artemus from http://uncleartemus.blogspot.com/
SGT DUB from http://sgtdub.blogspot.com

1. I hate to brag about myself...but since I hate to leave things undone let me give it a try

Uncle Artemus: Trust me, some things are just better left undone.
Anyhow: I understand how you feel. It's kinda hard to brag about yourself when you have nothing to brag about.
Ian: You hate leaving things undone? Here’s a straitjacket. Enjoy.
Lyn: One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people
karen: Quick completion isn’t usually something to brag about for the ladies...
Limey: Button-up, and step away from the mirror.
Sgt. Dub: I hate to tear you down, but since I hate to leave things undone too, let me give it a try.
Bud: Some things are better left un-done.
Spinnerz: I've made the cover of Herpes magazine 3 years running (That will send him running, maybe?)
Anndi: I’m sorry to have to tell you, if it ain’t broke... don’t fix it.
Mimi: Procrastination is your friend.

2. My mom said pick me! I do tricks and flips, do you want to see?

Uncle Artemus: Sorry, my mom said never to date outside of my species
Anyhow: No. My mom said to stay away from circus freaks.
Ian: I ALWAYS listen to what mother says. A boy’s best friend is his mother. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven’t you? (I dont know why I found this funny, a little scary, but funny)
Lyn: A mommas boy and a circus geek, two for the price of one, who could
resist that?
karen: This mom of yours...poodle or Chihuahua ?
Limey: No Norman I do not want to see. I generally speed-up as I pass the
'Bates Motel'.
(Ian wasn't in the car with you , was he?)
Sgt. Dub: Your mom’s trying to get rid of you too...
Bud: No. Never. Not ever. Are there stronger words that I am forgetting?
Spinnerz: I can lick my eyebrows
Anndi: Depends... do you shed? (There's always an optimist in the house)
Mimi: You're wound a little too tight for me, pixie. You must be a windup boy.

3. I'm nice with a little bit of twang. I love to conversate, explore and manicure a women mentally and physically.

Uncle Artemus: At last! Someone to clip the toenails of my mind.
Anyhow: You would have more luck with women if you try to pay attention to other body parts apart from the nails.
Ian: Idle hands are the devil’s playground. At least this guy’s keeping his busy.
Lyn: That disturbs me more than a little bit.
karen: Sounds like your fingerprints should be on file with the authorities.
Limey: I'm sorry that your twang is small, perhaps you could use it as
mental floss to buff my cerebral cortex?

Sgt. Dub: One more step and I’ll hit you with this taser, it’s got a bit of a twang too.
Bud: That’s quite an unique picture. Nauseating , but unique. (Cheers to that!)
Spinnerz: Can I touch your eyes
Anndi: Oh.. you meant Tang? The astronauts beverage of choice? Tell me, are you wearing a diaper and um.. is that a steel mallet or are you just happy to see me? Take off eh! (Got to love current affairs)
Mimi: Oh please. I'm begging you not to conversate me with your twang.

4. live In Same House As X . .but Were Not Together. Not Into Bs, Games.or Being Hurt. Im Honest . You Must B Too And Faithful

Uncle Artemus: Sorry, I don Speek MORON. so I Dont now wat teh HL U R Taking Uh bout!
Anyhow: The scary thing is I think English IS his 1st language.
Ian: This Guy Obviously Prefers The Tail End Of The Alphabet. Y?
Lyn: I think any woman would think twice before getting in the middle of The
War of the Roses.
karen: ...so now that you and X Are Together, you’re looking for an A? Because you’re Not Into Bs?
Limey: I think you need a porter....... with all that baggage!
Sgt. Dub: Next You’ll Tell Me You Have Your Parents Living With You Too, How Do I Stop Capitalizing Every Word? (This Just Made Me Chuckle, Now I'm Doing It Too)
Bud: Any other baggage? Perhaps from somebody you are not living with? You Must B Moron.
Spinnerz: I live alone but have pictures of you through out my house, on every wall, even in the fridge, I will be faithful to you. YOU BETTER BE FAITHFUL TO ME! I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell.
Anndi: Oh my God.. you cut the letters out of newspapers and magazines didn’t you?
Mimi: You must go A way. (I love puns)

5. to be exact getting kind of bore being the 5th wheel with all my friends looking for someone who likes to go out and have fun as well as stay home

Uncle Artemus: So in other words, I can be equally boring when out with friends or at home with my Star Wars action figures.
Anyhow: Either his keyboard only has the letters a-z and the number 5 or he hasn't passed his basic puncuations test since primary school.
Ian: Well thar’s yer problem: All yer friends are out looking fer someone while yer playin’ on the intarweb. You should be using that time to better yourself, like learning punctuation and basic sentence construction.
Lyn: Its not that your friends are bored with you, they are just exhausted from your run on sentences.
karen: Weren’t you in a Comeback Challenge before? You really need some different friends! (He could have been, his profile was one sentence, but almost 300 words long. I checked)
Limey: You say "5th wheel" but your friends say "FLAT TIRE".
Sgt. Dub: Check out number 6, maybe you can be in an awkward social situation with a snowman.
Bud: I bet your friends were even more bored.
Spinnerz: You must be willing to stay at home and tend to my grandmother locked in the attic. I haven't been able to get up there in the last couple of years and I'm pretty sure she needs something to drink
Anndi: How nice of you to look for someone to take your place in the group. They must be relieved.
Mimi: Do you have a spare?

6. Jeez I dunno.. build a snowman? or how about an entire snowman family, and then making funny voices as we put them in awkward social situations for unsuspecting, but certainly-appreciative, passersby?

Uncle Artemus: Awkward snowman situations eh? So would that be like one snowman getting caught glancing at another snowman's carrot in the snow-mens room? (that isn't where the carrots go)
Anyhow: I got a better idea, how about we tie you up as a snowman and then you can make funny noises as we put you in an awkward social situation for unsuspecting, but certainly-appreciative passersby to throw snowballs at you?
Ian: I think this was posted by mistake. The author, a native of Fargo , North Dakota , obviously meant to post it in a winter fun and games forum.
Lyn: Jeez I dunno..awkward social situations sounds like it would be kinda
karen: This actually sounds like fun! How sad is that? (I thought so too, but only after a few beers and a dare)
Limey: How about we build them in the road so that a passing truck can put
them out of their obvious misery?
Sgt. Dub: A dream come true, I’ve always wanted to make funny voices for a snowman family in awkward social situations.
Bud: Are you pitching a date or are you pitching a sitcom? It is ugly either way.
Spinnerz: That's just disgusting. Snowmen never hurt anyone.
Anndi: I feel a sudden urge to move to Tahiti.
Mimi: Not a snowball's chance in hell you're going to make babies with this ad.

7. I work hard so that i may play hard; looking for someone that can keep up : spiritually, mentally and definely physically!

Uncle Artemus: I'm looking for someone who can define the word definitely. I don't think you're going to be able to keep up.
Anyhow: We're definitely not in the same league.
Ian: She doesn’t have to run faster than you; she just has to run faster than her friends.
Lyn: Promise me that you will never use that line on any human person again.
karen: Doesn’t seem like keeping up mentally will be much of a challenge.
Limey: If I'm reading between the lines correctly I'm yours. I'm also a functioning alcoholic.... "spiritually" Tequila shots at 2am.... "mentally" fight off the DTs with a little JD.... "physically" I've had the liver transplant.
Sgt. Dub: You didn’t study hard though, did you?
Bud: You might have to pay for that.
Spinnerz: I can speak igPay atinLay and make out in the back seat of a Gremlin
Anndi: Buy yourself some Nikes
Mimi: I play hard to get. Get it?

8 Hello Ladies, I'm built like a toothpick, but I've started to workout again. I think I just recently found out why I'm single, I own 1-mini van and 1 Safari van. If your still interest I know your're not a gold digger. I can speack English as well as French and I can makeout in French.

Uncle Artemus: Wow, a sloppy tongue kissing stick man with a mini van who can speack English. I absolutely cannot believe you haven't been snatched up yet by a shrill voiced overbearing overweight shrew with a mullet and a '74 Dodge Dart.
Anyhow: Je ne crois pas que je veuille un type maigrichon qui dort dans les fourgonnettes comme mon homme suivant [I do not think that I want a skinny type which sleeps in vans as my following man]
Ian: Dude, you have a van? Can you give us a ride to a Dead concert?
Lyn: Judgmental toothpicks shouldn't stand too close to a French fire, use those utility vehicles to drive on out of here.
karen: Wait...you really think it’s your vans?
Limey: Wow! a cunning linguist. (I do love puns, but naughty, naughty ;) )
Sgt. Dub: Well, if you make out in French like you speack English, own two mini vans, and just found out you’re single, what’s not to like?
Bud: Can you find the exit sil vous plait?
Spinnerz: I can speak igPay atinLay and make out in the back seat of a Gremlin
Anndi: Que? No habla inglés y francés...(but can you makeout in spanish? Sorry couldn't resist)
Mimi: Toothpick - fortunately, I'm very good at removing splinters. Hold still. It won't hurt a bit. (Funny, but ouch!)

9 One of the coolest guys I know!!!! Its true, I was there!

Uncle Artemus: He let me hang out with him while he made out with my girlfriend and dangled me off the water tower by my heels.
Anyhow: Being the coolest guy in all your 3 friends doesn't really entitle you to say that.
Ian: Really? Could you introduce us to him? Because he sounds a lot more interesting than you.
Lyn: I'm so, not there.
karen: No lie! Where? Send me his link!!!!
Limey: I'm thinking you may be the only guy you know, and I'm beginning to get an idea of why you are single.
Sgt. Dub: Did you get his name; I’d like to meet him.
Bud: You & Frosty. Heartwarming.
Spinnerz: So we have met before
Anndi: Guess you should have stayed there.
Mimi: I hope it was a refundable ticket.

10. well this is my frist time doing this. well i would like to tell you i would fly you to a beach and we would walk in the sand to a littel hide away were i would have a romantic candel lite dinner and as we sat down the sun was setting.

Uncle Artemus: And we could frolic and dig random holes in the ground and make tinfoil helmets and toilet paper tube binoculars to scan the evening skies for the return of your alien parents.
Anyhow: You're not going to get very far if you consider having candle light dinner by yourself a romantic affair.
Ian: Sounds like SOMEBODY’s Hooked On Phonics.
Lyn: Little room for spontaneity and not much needed, seems like you took this trip before, all by yourself?
karen: well this is my frist time admitting that my beach fantasy does not include watching you set your dinner on fier and mixing tenses at sunset.
Limey: Well Bill, presumably this adventure is some lobbyist funded junket, or is it coming out of profits made by your large holdings in a private hospital as you re-wrote health care legislation?
Sgt. Dub: Capitalize, punctuate, spell-check....repeat
Bud: Then the big dragon would fly us to a place of merriment and wonder!
Spinnerz: I have a place like that in my basement...come see
Anndi: Pepe? Pepe le pue...is that you? Oh never mind.. I can smell you.
Mimi: Wrong. This is your last time doing this.

And First Place Winner is
Limey from http://a-limey-in-lime-rock.blogspot.com/ with 13 points
and second place goes to
Uncle Artemus from http://uncleartemus.blogspot.com/ with 11 points
with a tie for third between
Ian and Karen with 7 points each
so it's off to the tie breaker for those two

BONUS 11. Irish guy looking for non-mental girl...

Patrick: The stupider the better, I have a hard time finding someone to feel superior to.
Anyhow: How about that little leprechaun girl sitting on the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
Ian: Have you MET Irish women? They’re nuts! Can’t say I blame the fellow.
Lyn: I know how you feel, some mornings its just not worth it to chew thru
the leather straps.
karen: Try County General, 3rd Floor East: Lobotomy Wing.
Limey: They never proved those charges.... and his new girlfriend's dog
did run in front of my car....
Sgt. Dub: ...aren’t we all...
Bud: Standards way high. No shot.
Spinnerz: Must enjoy passing out
Anndi: Colin Farrel is that you?
Mimi: Frank - A non-mental girl would have no answer so that's my answer. Hey! It's my game and I can dodge if I want to.

And after much debate
Third place goes to
Ian Healy from EDog's Everything's Page

My thank's to Mimi for letting me
run this weeks Dating Challenge
I hope, Mimi, that you had fun playing as a Contestant

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Courses For Men

Scouring Online dating sites for Mimi's Dating Comeback Challenge, I was left not only in awe by some of the profiles that were written, but felt sorry for the 'nearly functionally illiterate' fellows because most had been in prior relationships. I chose 25 years to 45 years as an age range for the profiles, so most of the men specified that they were divorced or had recently left a long term relationship. Other than the fact that 80% of the profiles I read needed a ghostwriter for their profiles (writing must be as alien to them as a knife and fork), I concluded that maybe they may have stayed married if only they had the proper instruction to maintain a successful relationship. I spent this past weekend, surfing, phoning, emailing, and text messaging to get all the information I would need to assist these men. With some resistance from past professors, and the alumni in general, I was able to get access to various courses that could assist men with their relationships before they are doomed to write their dating profiles..

Relationship Etiquette for Men
All courses designed to assist men with problem areas that may lead to failed relationships, so that
they would never have to embarrass themselves
on Dating Sites.


Class 1 How to Fill Up the Ice-Cube Trays---Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks: Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 2
The Toilet-Paper Roll---Does It Change Itself?
Round-Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks: Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and
Avoiding the Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?---Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks: Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor--- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After-Dinner Dishes---Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks: Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss of Identity---Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help-Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks: Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How to Find Things---Starting with Looking in the Right Places
And Not Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch---Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful to Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost---Real-Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM --Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks: Saturdays at noon , 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live---Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

Class 12
How to Be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation, and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks: Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy---Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates, and Calling When You're Going to Be Late.
Cerebral Shock-Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
I repeat
Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Mark it on your calendar

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued and sent to your significant other.
Just in case she doesn't believe that you'd make the effort.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...