Monday, September 24, 2007

It Was a Dark And Stormy...Meme GGG ggg

Results are coming in, and I'll be collecting all participants links and adding them here.

So here's my submissions

Genre: Horror
Title: Shots from the Dark

Pulsations pounded through her head like a tympani, which could be from nerves for her being in the brooding darkness of the alley behind her favorite watering hole, or it could have been the beer, or maybe the five tequila shots, but it was probably the tequila worm (Laura always had a fear of anything bug like, but a dare was a dare, and when 200 bucks was up for grabs, well, fears could be put aside for a moment or two) and now the worm seemed to knot up her innards and forced her to the alley to evict the new and unwelcome tenant that seemed to be racing laps from uvula to gastric sphincter in rhythm to the bass drum throbs undulating at her temples in ever increasing waves. "Get out of me," Laura nearly hollered as she tried one more attempt at forced vomiting. Haunched over and forcing two fingers to the back of her throat for a fifth attempt, the crunch sound was deafening to her. She would have screamed but she could not remove her hand from her mouth for it was being pulled further inside. The pain was excruciating, but she could not wrap her mind around what was happening. Her entire hand was now entirely being pulled into her mouth. Collapsing to the ground, now suffocating on her own hand, Laura finally realized that her worm was devouring her own hand and pulling more of her arm into her.

Genre: Romance
Title: Forbidden Vows

Like twinkling stars in the blackness of night captured and painted with loving care on the most beautiful of canvasses by an artist blind to everything but the throes of love and beauty, the sweat beads of passion forming on the slopes of Julie's supple breasts would give way to their firm grip, and one by each, merging and intermingling with another bead, becoming one, mirroring the merging of Julie and Art's entangling of body and soul. Collapsing into a bliss of exhaustion, Julie caressed Art closer and tighter to her as if to combine themselves into one. Art kissed the lobe of Julies ear and whispered that their love will span eternity and that nothing or no one could interfere with their unity.

Thanks everyone for playing!
I'll link you here as I find you Mwahahahah!
Just kidding


ian said...

Gah! Those are hideous! Especially the second one!


FoxxFyrre said...

Uhmm, I know and thanks! ggg

Mimi Lenox said...

This has turned me off to romance altogether. I suggest you send it to Harlequin.

FoxxFyrre said...

Where do you think I got the picture from ggg.
uhmm, do they accept male authors?

Lizza said...

You're a bodice-ripper writer!

Haha! Excellently outrageous, Frank!

Anonymous said...

These are so funny. I've read Linda's and Lizza's and all three of these are exquisite. The first one really tickled me. Purely putrid. Thanks for an inspired idea and terrific execution!!! Gale

Linda said...

Oh these are truly bad! I especially like "Shots from the Dark".

Have you noticed that most of us are using the Romance genre? I'm beginning to think we're all a bunch of frustrated Harlequin romance writers!

Barbara said...

These were right on the spot, just as advertised. Congratulations.

Thanks for tagging me for this meme. I don't often get creative.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

We are up. Sorry we are late!!!!

Sanni said...

HA! Get your tux to the dry-cleaner - these are Nobel prize worthy =)

Mr-Lance said...

I think that was the best piece(s) of crap I have ever written, I think, don't know about any awards in my future!

Anonymous said...

Hello Frank! I have come to your name on the original blue ribbon bloggers list. I would like to issue you your official invitation to post about and promote your projects, blogs and doings on the blue ribbon bloggers community blog. Please reply to this with your email and I'll send the invite ASAP! Message me on MyBlogLog or email me at

Mr-Lance said...

Too funny!

10. Looking For a Real Girl With Roots
Curtains match the carpet?

Frank, they pulled out the carpet in 1996 and installed hard wood!

Can't believe you got past the boss!!!!!

Blublood said...

Very interesting, bodice-ripper stuff is fascinatingly disgusting but nonetheless entertaining for some. good job I guess...????


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