Shazaam!

A magician worked on a cruise ship.

The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, It’s not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's' parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... 

And then 2 days.

And then 3 days...

Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

"OK, I give up. Where's the fuckin' ship?"

The Queens Meme #76 The Prissy Meme

Mimi Lenox, the Meme Queen of the Bloggosphere, addresses the Bloggiverse every week with a Royal Order to answer themed questions. The topics of each week is a guarded secret and the command will not be given until the Royal Seal has been broken. Keep in mind, ignoring the Royal command may end you up in the Dungeon of Bloggingham, and the key to the cell is always thrown away. It takes special determination to work yourself out of the dungeon, which is guarded by her Loyal Beagle named Homer.

This week, because I'm trying to gain enough attention to work my way out of solitary confinement I am playing. It is Queen's Meme #76 and it is called:

The Prissy Meme

1. What is your favourite lipstick colour and why?

Purple plum.

They're just so juicy looking.

2.  How long does it take you to get ready to go to work in the morning?

4 min 28 seconds. that gives me enough time to put a cup of water in the microwave to heat it for 32 seconds so the cup is just right. Then the coffee is ready and completely brewed. Dump the water and pour that flavourful beverage and enjoy.  After that I have all morning to think about going to work.

3. Do you have your nails professionally done? Mani? Pedi?

Reni-- allways hire a professional Otherwise, I would have to worry about the nail I bent, and the thumb nail the doctor says I'm going to lose

4. Tell us about your latest spa experience - real or imagined.
When I was 21 I got paged to bring additional towels to the men's steam room. I left completely blinded, completely embarrassed, sweaty (very hot in there), and at this point I had never ever seen man boobs. Visual still hurts.

That's why I visualise this scene from Seinfeld when ever the man boob visual pops into my mind.

5. Is there something you'd like to change about your appearance? Would you ever have cosmetic surgery?

Yes, the invisibility factor. Electronic doors just don't see me and won't open most of the time.

6. How do you take care of your skin?

SOS pads, I think they are called Jets in the States. They get anything off. And they are blue, so that's why I think I wear blue very well

7. Tell us your secrets for vibrant, shiny, healthy-looking hair.

Four simple steps.  Careful on how much eucalyptus you use, for a koala will sneak attack and diddle your leg..made that mistake. Koalas are much harder to get off you than an excited dog, for koalas do live in trees and know how to hang on to branches.
 

8.  What is your favourite fragrance?

Grande Marnier! Fresh oranges, hint of congac, touch of spice...simply heaven...Marinate in a fresh bowl of strawberries for 6 hours--orgasmic.
 

9.  Everyone has a certain color they love to wear. What is yours?

Gamma from a universally inclusive perspective, locally bright blue.

10. Do you have ink?

I do like to draw lots so...
11.  How would you describe your personal style?

Hypothetical, for they are working on a thesis as we speak.

2011 little oddities

This year we experienced and are going to experience four unusual dates:

January 1, 2011

January 11, 2011

November 1, 2011

November 11, 2011

In modern numerical format, these translate to:

1/1/11

1/11/11

11/1/11

11/11/11

In that order.

Notice a patern?

Furthermore, every one of these dates is a specific holiday in Canada, and the USA.

Jan 1 - New Years day

Nov 1 - All Saints Day

November 11 - Rememberance day in Canada, Veterans Day in USA--

(and my 33 Anniversary--I hope I don't forget!)

But Jan 11 has 11 unofficial holidays dedicated to it in either Canada or USA or both:

1. National Clean Off Your Desk Day (I think I missed this one)
2. National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day --(In Canada and Alaska it's called "Snowball fight")
3. Use More of Your Mind Day (Okay, I'll go for 11% today)
4. Giant Day (A left over from Roman Times. The Centaurs are really pissed about this one. Cyclops are kinda ticked too)
5. Banana Boat Day (Day oh! Ta day ay ay oh! Daylight come...Usually celebrated after Holiday #2 and #11 in that order)
6. Art Deco Festival (Huge in Florida)
7. Pharmacists Day (Every Druggist has his day)
8. Send a Dollar to the Treasury Day  (But we won't) 
9. Smoking May Be Hazardous To Your Health Day (The only holiday that's such a drag)
10. Golden Globe Awards (Not really an unofficial holiday, but what would the Oscars be without them?)
11. National Hot Toddy Day  (Canada, Northern States and Alaska only. I celebrate NHTD religiously!! Especially after I win the Snowball Fight! Day Oh, Ta day ay ay oh...Daylight already?)

But that's not all 2011 has to offer us... take the last two digits of the year in which you were born; now add the age you will be this year, and the result will be 111 for everyone! 
For example - Harry was born in 1957, and 57 + 54 = 111
  (note: for this to work you have to be older than 11 years old. If you are younger than 11, it will always add up to 11,  funny isn't it)

This year October will have 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays and 5 Saturdays, which the last Monday is Halloween.
This happens only every 823 years.

Not a bad Year by the looks of things. Don't get me started on 2012 for that's another story.

ttfn