Monday, March 05, 2007

Brushing up on some skills

I've been playing in Mimi's Dating Challenge for quite a while now. When I do my post for the challenge, I also like to play the role of the Bachelor and add a response to the comeback in the Bachelor's character. Many of these Bachelor's seem to be as 'back woods' as they come, and my 'redneckese' is quite rusty. So I figured that is time to hit the books and brush up. If I'm going to respond to the comeback's as country folk, I should at least learn the lingo, so to speak.

Searching through the blogoshpere, and entire web, I found a course offered by the University of Little Rock, Arkansas entitled Technology for Country Folk.
Seeing that I'm a little bit of a Techo-nerd, I thought perfect it would help me learn redneckese, especially, with what I do know about technology it could break common ground making learning easier.
And what's better is the course is completely homestudy, so I could learn at my own pace.
So I snail-mailed my application in (it seems that ULRA doesn't correspond by email) and ordered my course.
Three weeks later, the course outline and Module One of Technology for Country Folk arrived.

Molule One
I passed module one with 92%. Needless to say I was quite pleased because my little cave doesn't have a wood stove.

Module Two

I thought I'd fail this module due to the driving requirement. I don't have a license, but it seems that most Arkansas country folk don't have licenses either. I did fail the wood chopping portion though, my axe swing was hooking a little...Damn golf.

Module Three

I failed this module completely. When I swung at the ram, I didn't hit it square on and it went flying right through the window.

Module Four
I passed this module with 100%, but now my TV only gets reruns of Beverly Hillbillies, Green Acres, Peticoat Junction, Mayberry RFD, and Matlock. Even Bell Expressview can't explain it?

Module Five

I did quite well on this module for swinging the sickle feels more like a golf club than an axe does.

Module Six

Only got 66% on this one. Did well with the cats and eating, but I'm always losing my keys.

Module Seven

Did not attempt this module. Lola just wouldn't let me participate. So I took a zero.

Module Eight

Again I only go 66%. Was hung-over and slept in for the 'Enter' test.

Module Nine

They were quite fair and gave me a passing grade for this module. I found out shot guns don't triple click. Blew the toes right off the boots I was supposed to use for the reboot test.

After all is said and done,
I passed with 74% and am now ready to take on the role of any 'back-woods' bachelor that may be targeted in Mimi's comeback challenge.


Lance Riley said...

Nice, frank, but you did cheat, you have been working in hotel's for a long time, and don't tell me you have never meet any redneaks!

Have you come across a hillbilly photography course yet? I need an upgrade!

Mimi Lenox said...

I think I need to take this course too. I don't know what the heck they're talking about most of the time.

FoxxFyrre said...

Thanks Lance
If the dean reads this he might take my diploma back. Still hunting for Hillbillie photo course. I'm sure there will be one coming up soon...really!

Hi Mimi
I know what you mean, but at least now I'm ready lol.

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