Monday, August 27, 2007

Mimi's Dating Challenge Meets Ann 'n' Ominus

Every Saturday, Mimi Lenox posts her Dating Comeback Challenge. When I play this game, I usually add the element of playing the Bachelor and throw in a sour grapes type line back at the comeback line. Not this round though, I decided to play the game as my 'character' Ann of my comic Ann 'n' Ominus. Ann has a problem with her inside and outside voices. She can't always keep them in check. Ominus will be the Bachelor for all the profile snippets, and we'll see what Ann may have really been thinking of her bachelor?

1. The Judge

2. The Wishful Thinker

3. The Drone

4. The Critic

5. The Italian Schmalion

6. The Realist

7. The Farm Boy

8. The Doc.

9. The Condiment Man

10. The Scholar

Tie Breaker
The Hopeless Romantic

-----------Go Gem!------------

Cheering Squad Assignment
Inspirational Writing Quotes.

A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket. ~Charles Peguy

I try to leave out the parts that people skip. ~Elmore Leonard

Writing became such a process of discovery that I couldn't wait to get to work in the morning: I wanted to know what I was going to say. ~Sharon O'Brien

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~Anton Chekhov

"It was a dark and stormy,...," no wait,
"It was the best of times, it was the worst,....," no, just a sec,
"Of man's first disobedience,...,
" damn, I'll get it,
"It was love at first sight,...," okay, I give, breathe,
"Every day I would attend the church gardens....," there, finally, a beginning I can call my own. Now what? ~Frank Sirianni

---------Go Gem!----------

Foxxfyrre's: When I was young, I used to think that [blank]

For those of you that love to do memes, here's a simple one. Just fill in the blank above with something that you used to think was right as a child, but were later to find out that you were absolutely wrong. And explain why you thought that way. Do as many as you like (or can remember--most of us try to forget these little things), but have fun with it.

1. When I was young, I used to think that dogs were male and cats were female. Dogs like German Shepards, Labradors, Collies, St. Bernards, all seemed to be big and burly like I thought a man should be. But cats always seemed to be feminine to me. I really couldn't figure out an Afghan or a highly do-ed up poodle. I just thought the owners were being really mean to the dogs, or they just didn't know dogs the way I did. "Go put pompoms on your Persian."

2. When I was young, I used to think that I would never get married or have any children. My mother was a nurse, so most of the reading material around the house was nursing books. My first picture book was Grey's Anatomy. So, being the smart ass, I thought I knew everything about sex too. I knew the names of all the parts. I'd tell and correct everyone at school who though babies came from storks, cabbage patches, or other tales because I knew better. Or so I thought. I was never going to put one of those....y' know...vagina things. I really wasn't sure if I was going to lose it, if it was going to break off. And if I did, would it grow back like the tails on some lizards I read about. It didn't grow back on some dogs (see # 1 above). I wasn't going to take that chance or risk the pain. Boy, am I glad puberty cleared up that little misunderstanding.

3. When I was young, I used to think that Barbara Eden's Jeanie was real, and boy did I want one for myself. Looking back now, I realize that Barbara Eden was my first crush (I still get a little sweaty when I see someone wearing similar attire). When I managed our night club, I ran a Halloween party based on your favorite TV character. I showed up as a female red-headed Jeanie--and I'm never ever going to shave that much of me again. When I do something, I do want to be as authentic as possible. The shaving wasn't bad, the growing back part was a bitch. In a round about way, that silly show about a Jeanie and an Astronaut really perked my interest in science. When "I Dream of Jeanie" was in reruns Star Trek came out, then I was really hooked on science, and science fiction. Still am hooked. Thank you Barbara.

I'm tagging the blogoshpere, I don't want to leave anyone out.

I just received this email this morning:

Dog Diary
0800 – Dog food!!! My favorite thing!!!
0830 – Major dump on neighbor’s front lawn!!! My favorite thing!!!
0930 – A car ride!!! My favorite thing!!!
0940 – A walk in the park!!! My favorite thing!!!
1030 – Got rubbed and petted!!! My favorite thing!!!
1200 – LUNCH!!!!! My favorite thing!
1215 – Nap!! My favorite thing!!!
1300 – Played in the yard!! My favorite thing!!!
1500 – Wagged my tail and got petted again!! My favorite thing!!!
1600 – Looked pathetic and got milk bones! My favorite thing!!!
1900 – Got to play ball!! My favorite thing!!!
2000- WOW!!! Watched TV with my people!!! My favorite thing!!!
2230 – Walked in back alley – sniffed every pile of turds and peed on every one of them!! My favorite thing!!!
2300 – Sleeping on the bed!! My favorite thing!!!
Life is good.

Cat diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while other inmates and I are fed hash of some kind or dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once vomited on the carpet and shit under the bed. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its bloody and headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear in their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what evil I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards! There is some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies”. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try again tomorrow – but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell so he is safe … For now.

It was just a little too timely (see # 1 above) not to share.


Anonymous said...

Great quotes, Frank! Very inspirational. And by the way, I loved Jeanie, too. All girls of a certain age wanted to go to Halloween parties dressed as Jeanie. What I wouldn't give for that flat tummy now!

Mimi Lenox said...

This is too cute, Frank. But your "voices" are scaring me....

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