Friday, September 14, 2007

In case you are ever on a road trip in Canada


To all my blog buddies, far and wide, that might consider a Canadian road trip. I love road trips myself, but I just took it upon my self to inform you what you might be up against. I could have titled this post, "Why I don't ever want to drive," but will just consider it a public awareness and safety travel information guide. I much prefer to be a passenger enjoying the sights and not worried about who I'm sharing the road with.

And I am probably the best most patient passenger there is--no back seat, or passenger side driving for me.

HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
(Notice that Montrealler has hand in Honk position even before car is started.)
MONTREAL, QUEBEC


2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window:

TORONTO, ONTARIO


3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic:
(Access denied??? Seems like the leaders of our nation have photo manipulated any and all Ottawa drivers to appear to come from Moose Jaw Saskatchewan.)
OTTAWA, ONTARIO

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, cradling cell phone, balancing Tim Horton's coffee on knee, foot solidly on accelerator:
Notice back up coffees already in clip!
CALGARY, ALBERTA


5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun on lap:
(Photo Unnecessary)
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA driving anywhere in North America


6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror:
SASKATOON, SASKATCHEWAN, but driving in TORONTO, ONTARIO


7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in the back seat:
QUEBEC CITY, QUEBEC


8. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic:
(Taken after one days commute to work)
VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA


9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator throwing McDonald's bag out the window:
RED DEER, ALBERTA


10. Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, raccoon tails attached to the antenna:
It seems Rocky (above) is making valid suggestions for alternative antenna wear (below).
Well, wouln't you want to save your own tail too?PRINCE GEORGE, BRITISH COLUMBIA


11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield driving 40 km/hr on Hwy 1 in the left lane with the left blinker on:
(My Bella Nonna late for aquarobics class)
VICTORIA, BRITISH COLUMBIA


12. One ski doo mitt on steering wheel, one ski doo mitt-scraper in hand out front window scraping frost off of windshield, Guess Who on 8 track playing Share the Land, hockey equipment smelling up car interior, waiting at lights for snow removal equipment to finish clearing intersection, all while smiling like a Playboy at the car beside them:
WINNIPEG, MANITOBA


So now that you know what to look out for, have a safe and wonderful Canadian road trip. Love to see you sometime!

TTFN

16 comments:

Mimi Lenox said...

Thanks for the warning. The animal in question looks like a possum. I nearly lost my breakfast. Bad memories, Frank, bad memories!!

FoxxFyrre said...

OOooo, I never thought about that, and I remember your possum experience post. Well, he deserves to lose his tail then! Sorry about your breakfast :(

FoxxFyrre said...

Maybe now I can start a new environmental movement--Save Our Bunny Tails ggg

gem said...

Very funny, Frank. I just loved this column. I hope to make it to Canada in the flesh--not just in my book. A fictional visit doesn't really count. Very, very fun post.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.ile-maurice.com/forum/members/wetter-vorhersage.html][b]5 tage wetter[/b][/url]

[url=http://www.ile-maurice.com/forum/members/wetter-vorhersage.html][b]wetter vorschau[b][/url]

Anonymous said...

Hey.

A banks is a financial institution that accepts deposits and channels those deposits into lending activities. Banks primarily provide financial services to customers while enriching investors. Government restrictions on financial activities by banks vary over time and location. Bank are important players in financial markets and offer services such as investment funds and loans. In some countries such as Germany, bank have historically owned major stakes in industrial corporations while in other countries such as the United States banks are prohibited from owning non-financial companies. In Japan, banks are usually the nexus of a cross-share holding entity known as the keiretsu. In France, bancassurance is prevalent, as most banks offer insurance services (and now real estate services) to their clients.

The level of government regulation of the banking industry varies widely, with countries such as Iceland, having relatively light regulation of the banking sector, and countries such as China having a wide variety of regulations but no systematic process that can be followed typical of a communist system.[url=http://projectcontrol.v3host.nl]CLICK HERE[/url]

Anonymous said...

http://diversitae.blogspot.com/2009/08/el-foro-en-independencetoday.html

Anonymous said...

http://chaosgone.blogspot.com/2008/08/germanys-current-top-20-popular-songs.html

Anonymous said...

http://libertarianrepublican.blogspot.com/2009/02/australia-arson-suspect-arrested-muslim.html

Anonymous said...

http://libertarianrepublican.blogspot.com/2009/02/australia-arson-suspect-arrested-muslim.html

Anonymous said...

www.weather.com

Anonymous said...

http://www.facebook.com/pages/weathercom/298713874092
www.weather.com

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.facebook.com/pages/weathercom/298713874092l]www.weather.com[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.facebook.com/pages/weathercom/298713874092l]www.weather.com[/url]

Cris said...

HI friends, this information is very interesting, I would like read more information about this topic, thanks for sharing.

homes for sale in costa rica

niz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...