Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Dona Nobis Pacem

Suffer Me to Come to Thee

When I was a small child my family lived with my Grand Parents for a couple of years. My mother was a nurse and worked long shifts and my father was always on the road working, so my Grandmother and I spent many, many hours together while we stayed with them. My Gandmother, or Nannie as I called her, was a hoot to spend time with. She was a little Irish lady, nearly blind at the time, and totally devoted to family and running her home. She had a sense of humour and loved funny stories, telling jokes, and also had a laugh that was contagious--Nannie lost most of her Irish accent living in Canada over the years, but her belly laugh was robust with accent intact. 

Nanny kept a rigorous routine to keep her house in order. She would be up much earlier than the rest of the family and would already have the old wringer washer going with two loads done before she came up to wake me for Kindergarten. My clothes were already laid out, so I just had to get washed up before breakfast and get ready for my school day. And yes, she would check for potatoes growing behind my ears, and would send me back up if I didn't pass her inspection. When she woke me up, she also brought a tray of hot steeped tea with toast and preserves for my Grandfather (Poppa) to have before he came down for breakfast. 

After school, she would pick me up and we would both spend an hour at the playground before going home. Once we got home, Nannie would make me a snack and then would give me a spelling bee, or Arithmetic quiz because I was in Kindergarten now and needed to know all these things. She would have supper on the table every night at 7pm and we would all sit for dinner in the kitchen unless it was Sunday. Sunday we would all have to have dinner in the dining room instead. Sunday was good china night whether there was company coming or not.

After dinner, we would gather in the living room and watch TV. Unless there was Hockey on TV, we would watch Ed Sullivan, Red Skelton, Carol Burnett, and many other classic shows of the time. If there was Hockey on, my Poppa had dibs on the game. Which was OK with Nannie, because she had dibs on All Star Wrestling on Saturdays. She really loved watching wrestling, but to this day I can't figure out why. 

Before my bedtime, my Nannie would make a cup of Cocoa and bread and butter for me as a bedtime treat. After the treat, it was time for her to take me up and tuck me in. My Nannie was a devout Catholic, so being tucked in also meant kneeling at the foot of the bed to say prayers before climbing in.
We would say three prayers every night, The Lord's Prayer, Hail Mary, and a special rhyming prayer that my Nannie taught me. I don't know if the prayer had a name, but I call it Infant Jesus because that is how the prayer starts.

It was during prayers one night when I asked my Nannie a question about the prayer Infant Jesus. There is a line in the prayer that I didn't understand, "Pity mine and pity me/ Suffer me to come to thee/" and I asked her what that part meant. Here's her answer:
"Millions of small children are born into the world and aren't as lucky as you and I. Many go hungry day after day. Many children are born sick and there are no hospitals and doctors to help them. Others are born and suffering because of wars and fighting (Viet Nam war was going on, so Nannie knew I knew something about war from news casts). Jesus has a special place in his heart for all the innocent children that are suffering because of these things, so when we say "Pity mine and pity me/ Suffer me to come to thee" we are asking Jesus to not only help those children, but for us to share part of their burden all of our lives."

Although many years have passed since that night, I have never forgotten Nannie's answer even if I didn't fully understand what she meant at the time. She was a special loving, lovely women, my Nannie. And if she was here now, I'm sure that she would be right alongside me doing a Blogblast for Peace post. She would do it for all the children who are suffering. 

For Dona Nobis Pacem (Blogblast for Peace), for my Nannie, and for all the children suffering because of fighting and unrest in this world, I would like to share that little rhyming prayer that my Nannie taught me oh so many years ago. And I admit, I haven't said it in many years either, but I've never forgotten it.
Infant Jesus, meek and mild
Look on me a little child
Pity mine, and pity me
Suffer me to come to Thee
Heart of Jesus, I adore Thee
Heart of Mary, I implore Thee
Heart of Saint Joseph, Pure and Just
In these three Hearts, I place my trust.

Good Night

My Grandparents, Frank and Kitty Whittaker aka Nannie and Poppa. Photo was for the Ottawa Citizen Newspaper in 1976 to celebrate their 65th Anniversary.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Demise of Ol' Blue

The Demise of Ol' Blue

A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he has squandered all of his money.

He calls home.

'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing...they actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.'

'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll get him in the course.'

So his father sends the dog and $2,000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.
'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read.'

'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.

So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!'

'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still bonking that little redhead barmaid at the pub?''

The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!'

'I sure did, Dad!'

'That's my boy!'

The kid went on to be a successful lawyer. 


Sunday, February 24, 2013

Sunday Stealing: The (20) First (Questions) Meme Foxxfyrre Style

Welcome to Sunday Stealing

The (20) First (Questions) Meme

Originally hosted by +Bud Weiser, now +Mr Lance has taken the reigns.
This session will be brought to you by my alter egos, 
Foxxfyrre, Dursten Shaw’tz, and Velvet Head. 

First Job:

Dursten: It was while I was Bartending at the Honk’n’Holl’r. This guy sat down at the bar and asked for 4 tequila shooters.
Velvet Head: Yeah, so?
Dursten: I asked him what he was celebrating, and he said it was because of his first--what did he call it...Oh yeah a Job Blow, so I thought I’d buy him a shooter on the house to congratulate him.
Velvet Head: That’s not a ‘real’ job, and you got it backwards.
Dursten: Oh, but he refused the Tequila shot anyway.
Velvet Head: Why would he refuse?
Dursten: I don’t know, but he said if 4 won’t wash the taste out of his mouth, nothing would.

First Real Job:

Foxxfyrre: Myself and all my alter egos are Italian--need I say more?
Dursten and Velvet Head: Shhhh. That’s a ‘Family’ thing.

First Volunteer Job:

Dursten: I was a site marketer to target the optimum addresses for the girls to get the best cookie sales.
Velvet Head: Really. That's cool, how long did that last?
Dursten: One season.
Velvet Head: Why?
Dursten: I got kicked out of Cubs for eating too many Brownies.

First Car:

Foxxfyrre: That’s easy, a Matchbox race set. It came with 3 cars and an oval slotted track for the cars to race in.
Dursten: No it wasn’t, it was a Hot Wheels Set you got for Christmas in 1968. It was the first one that came with a loop and a jump that the cars could go through. It even had a vice clamp so you could clamp the track on anything that was elevated for the cars to start from.
Velvet Head: You are both wrong, it was a Johnny Express flat deck 18-wheeler that was a tethered remote control vehicle. Dad got it for us for Christmas in 1965. Don’t you remember guys--you could stand on the flat deck and still drive it with the remote for it was that durable.

Foxxfyrre: Oh yeah, I remember now. I think we finally got to play with it in the summer of 74, because Dad wouldn’t let it go.

First Record:


Foxxfyrre: Five feet six inches in the High Jump during the Provincial Track meet in Grade Seven.

First Sport Played:
Foxxfyrre: See above.
Velvet Head: Above what?
Foxxfyrre: I mean see previous question.
Velvet Head: I had no previous question.
 Foxxfyrre: I mean the question above this one.
Velvet Head: That's what I asked.
Foxxfyrre: I give up.
Velvet Head: Touchy, touchy.

First Concert:

Foxxfyrre: 1976 April Wine, The Whole World is going Crazy tour.
Velvet Head: And has the whole world gone crazy?
Dursten: Why are you asking Foxx how crazy the world is getting? Just watch one episode of Tosh.O.

First Country Visited:

Dursten: The country and twin Cities of Helium on Barsoom. I had an appointment to see John Carter and Deja Thoris about a bartending position in the Palace of the Jeddak in Lesser Helium. But that was before I accepted the Night Managing position at the Grande Nebulae Hotel and Casino.
Velvet Head: Barsoom?
Dursten: Oh yeah, you Earthers call it Mars.
Foxxfyrre: Wait a minute Dursten, the Barsoom series was written by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the same author who created Tarzan. I don’t think you can just barge into someone else’s fiction like that.
Velvet Head: Sure you can Foxx. Me Velvet Head, did Jane--Deal with it.

First Kiss:

Velvet Head: 1976 for their Detroit Rock City Tour. Saw it in Ottawa at the Civic Centre.
Dursten: No, not the band, the girl.
Velvet Head: What makes you think I could get the girl with Gene Simmons’ 12 inch tongue in the house.

First Speech:

Velvet Head: I had to defend my thesis in front of a panel of professors while in University. I did okay, but nerves were running amok.
Foxxfyrre: I know you were really nervous, you even gave Dursten gas pangs.
Dursten: No he didn’t, that was just the burrito we had for lunch. But it did shorten the QandA portion of the presentation. Professor Strand just wanted to get out of the room, even his eyes were watering.

First Girlfriend/Boyfriend:

Foxxfyrre: All my initial trysts didn’t have gender identity problems
Dursten: All your initial trysts didn’t have gender, either.
Velvet Head: They may have had gender, but you can’t call one game of Doctor, and another of Post office as “having a steady”.
Foxxfyrre: Maybe not, but none of them ever had problems licking the stamps afterwards.

First Encounter with a Famous Person:
Bryan Adams 1977. We met the summer of 78.

Foxxfyrre: How about a first encounter with a famous person before they were famous.
Velvet Head: What do you mean?
Foxxfyrre: I mean getting to know a person while they were becoming famous, just shortly before they became big name celebs.
Dursten: Like who?
Foxxfyrre: Bryan Adams.
Dursten: You mean ‘Cut's Like a Knife,’ and 'The Summer of 69' Bryan Adams?
Foxxfyrre: Yes, while he was still the lead singer of Sweeny Todd.
Velvet Head: I remember them, didn’t they sing "Roxy Roller”.
Foxxfyrre: Yes. They were on a club tour and came to the Hotel I was working at. Bryan was too young to remain in the bar when he was not performing. He was only eighteen at the time, and so was I. So we hung around together while I wasn’t working, and he wasn’t on stage.
Dursten: You were both eighteen?
Foxxfyrre: Yes, but he is one day older, he was born on the third of November, I was born on the fourth.
Velvet Head: So why would you call this an 'encounter' with a famous person.
Foxxfyrre: He was a rock star (even that early), and both of us were hanging around a hotel at night. He had groupies, I had looks--need I say more?

First Brush With Death:

Foxxfyrre: Nothing so far...Touch wood.
Velvet Head: Ouch, what did you wrap me on the noggin for Foxx.
Dursten: Bwahahah. That was me, he said touch wood.

First House/Flat Owned:

Foxxfyrre: I have my own cave in Northern Canada.

First Film Seen at a Cinema:

Foxxfyrre: I was a Drive-in baby. On Saturdays, my parents would get ready to go out, and I would get ready for bed, meaning I had to get my pyjamas on. Then we all got into the car and went to the Drive-In--Always a Double Feature on Saturdays. Don’t ask me what movies were playing, for this was a weekly routine, but what I really remember is Mom and Dad both snoring in the front seat, and I had to wake them up for Dad to drive us home. I still have the collection of Drive-In speakers to prove it. (Dad always got startled when I woke him up because the movies were over, and would drive away without taking the speaker out of the window). I think that’s why I am a fan of Science Fiction and Horror B Movies. I still don’t understand why I was the one that had to wear the pyjamas--I actually watched the movies!
Velvet Head: That explains a lot.
Foxxfyrre: What do you mean?
Velvet Head: I just meant, all that time watching Sci-Fi and Horror double features at such an early age probably fostered your vivid imagination, and that’s how we came into being.
Dursten: What’s a Drive-In?

First Media Appearance (Radio, Newspaper, TV):

Foxxfyrre: Was in a TV Commercial for the restaurant I was working at in Ottawa. Just a local thing on a local station, so no thespian career was in the works.

First Hospital Stay:

Foxxfyrre: Birth, but I really don’t remember much.

First Book You Remember Reading:

Foxxfyrre: Gray’s Anatomy. My Mother was a nurse, so there really wasn’t any fictional books to read when I was really young.

First Pet:

Foxxfyrre: My baby sitter, I was six.
Dursten: I think they meant your first animal.
Foxxfyrre: Oh, Black Labrador. His name was Spike.
Velvet Head: Nice cover Foxx.

First Election You Voted In:

Dursten: Voted in favour of the bill that Admiral Archer introduced to instill a Prime Directive of planetary exploration. The Bill led to the foundation of the Federation of Planets.

Foxxfyrre: There you go mixing our fictions again.
Dursten: Can somebody please Beam Foxx out of here. 

That's it for this weeks Sunday Stealing

Monday, February 18, 2013

Sunday Stealing: The Basically Obscure Meme; Foxxfyrre Style version 2.5

Sunday Stealing: The Basically Obscure Meme 2.5

Foxxfyrre Style: Version 3, edit 56

Sunday Stealing is a long running meme, originated by +Bud Weiser , and is now hosted by +Mr Lance .
Again, it’s going to be Foxxfyrre style, and if you’ve read version 1 and version 2, of "The Basically Obscure Meme," you already know what Foxxfyrre style means, but for the rest of you--
Please deposit 25 cents in side bar on the left--every play is a winner!

Example prizes include:
1. Your weight will be guessed by someone that knows you a lot better than I.
2. Your lucky lottery numbers will contain members of this set of digits {0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9}. Sort them as you like.
And finally, I will not use sponsors this week to answer the questions. Me, myself, and possibly, I will do that for you, and we are named Foxxfyrre, Dursten Shaw’tz, and Velvet Head--in that order.

38: How did you spend Valentines day?

Foxxfyrre: Mooning over my Hammy. Really! I went a little overboard on the cloves for my surprise ham roast dinner. Now I have a dinner that will cure the common cold. My sinuses are nice and clear though.

39: Do you eat enough vegetables?

Dursten: Are you crazy! You know in this day and age they genetically alter everything that grows. So I'm sticking to my tried and true Soylent Green.

40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?

Foxxfyrre: Hell Yeah! The creepier the better.
Dursten: As long as they have got nothing to do with empty old hotels.
Velvet Head: Big fan of the 50's Sci-fy horror B movies.

41: Do you like scotch?
Foxxfyrre: Nope, GM only.
Dursten: Are you kidding, we only serve Synthehol.
Velvet Head: The sticky tape, or the eggy-breakfast thing? I have shares in 3M Company, so I really hope you mean the sticky tape.

42: Who is someone you would never swear in front of?

Dursten: In front of Granpa, never curse, will I.

43: Coolest thing you've ever seen on Halloween?

Foxxfyrre: A themed costume of a Six Pack of Rainier Beer being chased by a bottle opener.

44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?
Velvet Head: Are you kidding, my jet black wavy hair is how I got my nickname.

45: What subject would you take if you were forced to take a free class?
Velvet Head: I wouldn't take the subject. I would steal the predicate. Then let's see what those nouns and pronouns can do.

46: Do you use a reusable grocery bags?
Dursten: Grocery? What are we in the dark ages? Just tell your iFridge what you want.

47: City or nature person?

Foxxfyrre: Au naturelle, of course
Dursten: City, if only I can get my transport credentials back.
Velvet Head: I'm with Foxxfyrre, but it has to have a bar.

48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)

Foxxfyrre: Uhm, green food colouring.
Dursten: Were you trying to be a member of the Orion Syndicate, Foxx?
Foxxfyrre: Noooo.
Velvet Head: Bwahahaha, No Dursten, it was St. Patrick's Day and Foxxfyrre thought that he would change the colour of his edible undies to green. Didn't work to well, but Foxxfyrre  ended up with a convincing Leprechaun if you get my drift.

49: Do heights bother you? can look look out the window on the top floor of a skyscraper?
Foxxfyrre: Only bothers me on a ladder.
Dursten: Only bothers me if I am low enough for gravity to make me fall.
Velvet Head: Only during the Reverse Cow Girl. Fell off once. Nasty, nasty sprain.

50: Post 5 awesome things about your blog. BRAG AWAY!
Foxxfyrre: Silliness squared. I like stretching my silly bone in posts.
Dursten: What about INN SPACE? You keep promising that you'd post more stories.
Foxxfyrre: I will Dursten, I promise.
Velvet Head: Hey, what about those other stories you wrote? Like "Chester and Finnigan: A Freindly Haunting" in which I would never have been 'introduced' to the blogoshpere if you didn't post it.  And your are being too modest Foxx. You know you love Blogblast for Peace and the posts you have done for them like "Little Tommy Taylor".
Foxxfyrre: I do like doing these memes, and you are right Velvet, I do love participating in Blogblast for Peace.

I hope you enjoyed this final episode of the Basically Obscure Meme for Sunday Stealing. Foxxfyrre thanks you, Dursten Shaw'tz thanks you, and Velvet Head thanks you for stopping in to the Honk'n'Holl'r

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Dating Profile's Comeback Challenge: The Lost Episode

Many moons ago, I used to play a meme challenge that was inspired by Mimi Lenox and her popular Dating Profiles of the Day Blog. From this blog, Mimi would issue a meme challenge to write the best "Comback Lines" to the real dating profiles she would find on dating sites. I found this set of dating profiles still in draft, and were not answered. I guess after a few years, I should finally get cracking and get to it. And what better time to answer these profiles with my comeback lines, for Mimi has adapted her blog into a Facebook site called Dating Profiles of the Day
For me to do anything of this nature, I have to put a Foxxfyrre spin on things and for this Comeback Challenge, I thought I would use some sponsors to provide the comebacks. The I thought to myself, "Self," I said, "what if the Addams Family discovered Match.com?" So this lost episode of Mimi Lenox's Dating Comeback Challenge is brought to you by,

So let me just blow the dust off and brush away the cobwebs on these Dating Profiles and let the Addams get to the Comebacks. Remember, as scary as it might seem, the numbered profiles are real.

1. I can cook myself pretty well. I like new experiences and will try anything once.

Grandmama: I wonder if he will use Tarragon and Eye of Newt?
Morticia: I think you should show him respect, and at least taste him first.
Grandmama: You're right as usual. Where are my manners? I can always season him later.

2. Looks Ant Every Thing

Thing: (Tapping out Morris Code)
Morticia: Are you sure that's Ant Thing on eHarmony, Thing?
Thing: (Tapping Morris Code)
Morticia: Well Ant Thing has been very lonely since Unc Thing was killed in that horrible roller-skate accident. She deserves to have some amour in her life.
Gomez: Mon Cherie, that's French!

3. I want to be truely in LOVE. Been like a dog chasing a bus, except I know what to do when I catch it.

Cousin It: Bweep pip bu bip dweep
Gomez: Sounds like she's quite the catch, and she knows what to do with you.
Cousin It: Zup zit zat!
Morticia: Alright, and have fun. But please don't bring any more buses home. 

4. I have NO, NONE, ZERO internal filter. Much to the horror of those around me if I think it I say it.... I am that guy that will spew non-stop garbage from my mouth just to see how far I can go before people realize I'm insulting them to their face. For some reason some people think I'm an arrogant s*@t.... That's so not true!

Lurch: You rang?
Morticia: I know we forgot to get that filter installed when you were being assembled, but you are being much too hard on yourself in your profile.
Gomez: She's so right, Old Man, you are much more rude than that.

5. My main goals in life are to built a house, have a son and plant a tree

Gomez: Are you sure this girl is the ONE?
Uncle Fester: Positively. Read her profile again then tell me she's not the ONE.
Gomez: I see, you're right old man. She can provide you something to blow up, dismember, and up-root.
Uncle Fester: Yes, and not necessarily in that order.

6 The match comes down to weather I find you attractive. For me, that attraction starts with physical looks. Yeah, yeah that makes me a shallow bastard I know but looks are high on my list.

Wednesday: Mother, Pugsley's putting fake profiles on Plenty Of Fish again.
Morticia: Tell him I said that he is too young to date.
Wenesday: He's not looking for dates Mother, he wants to restock the Skeleton Closet.
Morticia: Oh, that's fine then, I know we are getting low.

7. Catch Your Eyes?

Uncle Fester: Got your spleen!

8. I think of myself as intelligent, and am looking for a smart woman. My motto is, you can't think of everything. But you should try. (NOTE: This was his entire profile)

Wednesday: Then he should have known that I would have the moat stocked with alligators.
Pugsley: But N.J, wasn't just our friend, he was our only friend.
Wednesday: Still, he should have thought of everything.

9. Lets see. I have arms and legs, 10 fingers and 10 toes. I want the same thing every other guy wants, but I typically go about different ways of getting it. I like to think I'm clever, but I'm not sure how well that is working out for me.

Morticia: Your Honour,  despite all those imperfections Mr. Draper has put in his personal statement, I still think Grandmama and Mr. Draper can hit it off famously.
Judge Kramer: But your Mother is here for kidnapping Mr. Draper and caging him up with a lion.
Morticia: Oh no Your Honour, Kitty Kat just wanted to play for a while.

10. Are you my future X?

Wednesday: No, but it does mark the spot!


It was fun to actually bring this one out of the Draft Dungeon and actually do it!


Thursday, February 07, 2013

Sunday Stealing: Foxxfyrre Style part 2

The Basically Obscure Meme: Part 2

This week I've decided to participate in Sunday Stealing which is now brought to you by +Mr Lance , but was originated by +Bud Weiser many moons ago. Like everything I do, I put my own spin on things, like posting Sunday Stealing on a Thursday. This edition of Sunday Stealing I thought that I would use sponsors to complete the meme. So this Sunday Stealing is brought to you by the cast of

"All in the Family" 

The Cast Members will answer the questions for me. Sorry to those of you who are too young to remember All in the Family, but I recommend finding a retro channel or Youtube to get a taste of a large segment of television history. I hope you all enjoy this little trip down TV memory lane as much as I enjoyed writing it. Just for fun, the cast responses are not from the show, they are written by me (I tried to stay true to the characters),  all except for one line which is from the show. If you think you know which line is from the show, put your guess in comments. Let see who knows their All in the Family trivia!

The meme questions are the numbered ones, just so you know, but I know you did.

Warning, it might get a little loud in here.

21: Would you swear in front of your parents

Gloria: Are you kidding me? I haven't even told my father that Michael is Polish yet!

22: Which continents have you been on? 

Archie: Just one, the Good Ol' US of A.
Micheal: USA is only a country, North America is the continent, Arch.
Archie: The North and the South are all one, Meathead! Has been since Lincoln won the war back then see.
Gloria: No dad, Micheal's right. North America is the continent that includes the USA, Canad....
Archie: Stifle right there Gloria. See what you started Meathead, let me get the Funk and Wagn....
Micheal and Gloria: And Mexico!
Archie: Gggghheeeessss Louise! Will ya let me even read it before youse two spout off like that.

23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories? 

Edith: Just this one time when your Father took me to Coney Island and he took me on the rides after I had too many Coney Fries.
Gloria: No Ma, I said morning sickness.
Edith: No...We went in the afternoon. 
Gloria: No Ma, m-o-r-n-i-n-g sickness
Edith: Oohh, OOOHHH Gloria!
Gloria: Yes Ma, morning sickness!
Edith: OOOOhhhh Gloria.....What are we going to tell Archie?

24: Why did you name your blog whatever you named your blog?
Archie: Speak American Meathead!
Michael: I am speaking English, Arch. A Blog is a new way to communicate with people everywhere.
Archie: And what's wrong with the phone? But don't youse be rackin' up no long distance charges.
Michael: No, a blog is more like a news paper that you can get your message through with.
Archie: And next you'll be telling me that you can read these messages on the phone.
Michael: I give up.
Archie: That was too easy, I didn't even have to tell you to stifle.

25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants? 

Archie: What? You couldn't get the stains out George? I thought youse guys were good at that sort of thing.
George: No Archie, I meant...
Louise: That's it George, we're leaving. I told you you couldn't talk sense to Archie.
George: But Wheeesie...

26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up? Post a picture if you can. 

(Just to keep things in context)

27: In a past life I must have been a... 

Archie: You been drinking some of your top shelf stuff Kelsy?
Kelsy: No, I just meant that I've been thinking of moving on. You wouldn't be interested in buying the place, would you Arch?
Archie: Hmmm, I'll have to think about that. Maybe next year. 

28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be? 

(What skyline do you think I'd post with these sponsors on board)

29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?
Archie: Going to your daughter Carol's wedding, Maude.
Maude: We were on all that flight Archie, and it was only for an hour and a half.
Archie: Exactly, you were on it.
Maude: Why you old...
Archie: (Raspberry)

30: The longest you've ever slept? 

Archie: During Carol and Pete's Wedding Service
Edith: But Archie, that was a beautiful Wedding Service. I remember we were all sitting in the family section in the Church.  Carol was wearing that blue brooch I gave her to wear for something blue. Maude bought her that beautiful pearl necklace for something new, and I gave her your black arm garter...
Archie: You gave her my what?
Edith: Your arm garter, we didn't have time to go shopping to get her a real garter for the garter toss and she needed something borrowed anyways.
Archie: That was my arm garter? I needed that for poker nights with the boys, you Dingbat. I had to go buy a new pair.
Edith: You didn't need to look for it, you were the one that caught the garter, don't you remember Archie?
Maude: And you pushed two bachelor's and Cousin Mickey over to catch it.
Archie: Gggghhheeeeeeess Louise! Will youse two stif....
Edith: And he still has it in his cuff-link box on the dresser.
Archie: Stifle Dingbat! It was a fine wedding until the Best Men showed up.
Maude: What men? There was only one Best Man.
Archie: Then it was you standing beside the guy standing beside Pete.
Maude: Archie, you're lucky I didn't lace this orange juice with Kaopectate!
Archie: (Raspberry)
Maude: I used X-lax instead.

31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free? 

Edith: Oooh Gloria, you know your father wouldn't let me wear anything hippie.

32: Do you pluck your eyebrows? 

Michael: No Arch, I don't pluck my eyebrows.
Archie: Good. it's one thing having a Polack in the house, but it's another to...
Michael: Another to...what?
Archie: ...Have a hippie in the house.
Micheal: That's not what you were going to say, Archie,
Archie: That's exactly what I was going to say, Meathead.
Micheal: I don't think so Archie, you were going to say.....
Archie: Now don't youse be going putting no woyds in my mouth, Meathead. I know what I was going to say.

33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto? 

Edith: Oh no Sir. Archie only eats the Frank and Beans.

34: How far can you throw a baseball? 

Sammy Davis Jr.: About as far as I can throw this Archie.

Archie: Well, what the hell--he said it was in his contract!

35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move? 

Gloria: With the baby coming, and you between jobs, you know the farthest we can move is next door.
Michael: But we can dream, can't we?

36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it? 

Archie: No Edith, just order some good American food. 
Edith: I just thought you might like something from one of those new ethnic restaurants, but Okay I'll order some Italian from Mario's Eat-aria.
Archie: Finally!

37: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Michael: Was that supposed to be another one of your Polish jokes Arch?
Archie: Only a Meathead knows for sure.

Instead of my usual TTFN sign off, I will let Edith and Archie sign-out the way they opened the show.

...Those were the days...

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