Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The Twelve Blogging days of Christmas: Day Two

On the second day of Christmas my true love said to me, "The yellow pages are in the desk drawer. What do you need them for?"
"I've got to look for an Indian Shaman"
"You want a what, Frank? What the heavens for?"
"Mimi's in trouble, she has a pest problem."
"Pest problem? Wouldn't you want an exterminator."
"No, an exterminator wouldn't work. She has possums invading her home."
"Possums. I think she'd still need an exterminator, or a Wildlife Officer to handle them."
"No silly. Possums are like Zombie rats. If you call an exterminator they will just play dead and the exterminator will think he's finished. And they'll do the same thing to a Wildlife Officer. She needs a Shaman because they have ways of stopping them from playing possum and leading them away for good."
"I still think you need an exterminator."
"No a shaman will do the trick, but I've got to hurry. Possums are little thieves and like to hide things in their pouches. Mimi thinks
that they may have found all her little Peace Globes, because she can't find them anywhere. I hope she doesn't loose her marbles too."
"Frank, now your not only being silly, your being rude too."
"No Lola, that's not what I mean. Mimi has some special homemade marbles that her Grandfather made out of stone. I hope those little buggars didn't get at them."
"I still think your not going to have any luck."
"Hello, Shaman's r Us...Yes, I'd like to hire a shaman to handle a possum problem...Yes, they've been prowling for quite a while and causing lots of problems....I need a shaman to lead them away....They've been hiding in closets and scaring the household with their beady little eyes....What's that...Well same to you buddy!"
"Well, what happened?"
"He told me to look under P in the yellow pages for Pied Pipers."
"Told you."

And a Gem-osophy once known as "Staircase wit."


Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Brilliant! Post!

Mimi Lenox said...

I'm tickled pink to be Day Two in your Twelve Days series. What a fabulous idea. Bud is right. This idea is brilliant. There's just one thing.....The picture of that horrible possum made my skin crawl (again) YUK YUK YUK.
Thanks for featuring me, Frank.

Anonymous said...

Frank, you are the sweetest guy in the Northern Hemisphere. Maple sugar candy is bitter compared to you. You are a man who empathizes with a woman's fear of rodents and probably our other irrational fears. Splendid post. Shamans R Us?

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