Cowboy jokes and other stuff
I've been filtering through my email inbox for the past few days and I've been finding little treasures in there that I just have to share. Some of the jokes may be a little dated, but I do have a BIG inbox.
Many of you will remember that Cowboy movie that has changed everything. Yes, I mean that movie. Many cowboys now have to be very careful of the expressions that they have used since the early wild west days.
Yes, things will never be the same in the west again.
But there is a new movie coming out which I think I may take a gander at.
I'm sure, with a cast like that, that I'll be giving this movie a couple of thumbs up...Ahem. (Clearing throat, wiping brow)
-------------------
The Modern Cowboy and the Genie
(Yes, that is a cell phone he is using)
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the
Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst.
He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his
last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the
sand several yards ahead of him.He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers
what looks to be an old briefcase He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.
She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a
dull gray dress.There's a calculator in her pocketbook.She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
Well, cowboy," says the genie.. "You know how I work....You have three wishes."
I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy... "I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie."
What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like
you're a goner anyway!" The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and
decides that the genie is right.OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen,and he is surrounded with
jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. "O K, cowpoke, what's your second wish.?"
"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says..."I wish that no matter where I go,
beautiful women will want and need me."
***POOF***
He was turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story:
If the government offers you anything,there's going to be a string attached.
Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst.
He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his
last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the
sand several yards ahead of him.He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers
what looks to be an old briefcase He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.
She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a
dull gray dress.There's a calculator in her pocketbook.She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
Well, cowboy," says the genie.. "You know how I work....You have three wishes."
I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy... "I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie."
What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like
you're a goner anyway!" The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and
decides that the genie is right.OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen,and he is surrounded with
jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. "O K, cowpoke, what's your second wish.?"
"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says..."I wish that no matter where I go,
beautiful women will want and need me."
***POOF***
He was turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story:
If the government offers you anything,there's going to be a string attached.
++++++++
And just so there is no confusion, the modern cowboy is using a cell phone...
And this is the particular model shown above. I just wanted to clarify this.
TTFN
3 comments:
I stole the modern cowboy and the genie one. Bwahahahahahaha. I gave you credit of course.
Have a great day. :)
thanks Sandee,
Lot's more silliness to come, lol
Holy Blogging Blitz Batman...
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