Thursday, March 24, 2011

History's Best Pickup Lines 2: The Pirate Edition

Continuing my journey through history's best and worst pick-up lines, I present you the Pirate edition. Those swashbuckling days must have been fun, yet filled with thrill and danger. But it seems to me, that even the pirates of those days would have inevitably been hit port side by the sting of the put-down line. The Pirate's pick-up lines are in normal text, and the put-down responses are in red text.

1. I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' yer

And this bank won't be opened for just any boob.

2. Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.

Ha, even your plank looks flaccid!

3.Is there an 'X' on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that
there's wond'rous booty buried underneath!

But you couldn't find your way to the treasure with map and compass.

(I think google images is broken. I typed in booty for my search and I did not find any pictures of pirate treasure. I'm not complaining mind you.)

4. Me skull and crossbones arn't the only thing I plan on raisin' tonight.

Sounds like you're running for office too. Another empty promise, for the only thing certain in life is death and taxes. At least your campaign banner is honest.

5. Do ya' mind if the parrot watches?

Hey now...

...You cracker, you brought 'er here.

6. Hey, sexy -- how about a Jolly Rogering?

Ya, you'd need a strong support to stop it from flappin in the wind.

7. See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments.

So you'll be finished that rug in no time.

2.Do you have the latest copy of Windows 7 with cracked product
activation? (software pirates only)

NO thanks, I'll stick with Tux. I don't jump through Gates any more.

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