I think my Lola's been talking to my Bella Nonna

Stopping in at Ian's blog a while back, he had a link to an interesting contest which I thought I would try at some later date. But then I thought, "Hey, why not play on this a little and make a meme out of it." I have been getting requests from some of my peeps to keep coming up with memes. But then I phoned my Lola from work and asked her what she thought, on the phone I said, "Lola, do you think I should do this Bulwer-Lytton contest as a meme. It does sound like fun."

But my Lola told me on the phone, "Why ask me, you are the blogspert. And why phone me from work for this, you never phone me from work."
I told my Lola on the phone that I was excited about the idea and wanted her opinion, but my Lola told me on the phone that, "That is no excuse, I should phone her from work just because I love her." My Lola is starting to sound like my Bella Nonna, but in a faint Polish accent not in thick-Italian-broken-English.

So, I hung up the phone, and called my Lola back and on the phone I said, "I love you Lola," because I always do as my Lola tells me to do.

My Lola was not amused, I think I should have waited a while to phone her back, but on the phone she did say, "I love you too, Numbnuttz." Numbnuttz is Lola's Polish pet name for me. I don't know what it means in English, but I'm sure it's cute, even if she only calls me that when she is a little annoyed.

But then I thought, if I could just get the Cheering Squad to play along this could be one fun and far reaching meme, and a great cheering post for the Squad.

So, here goes nothing

It was a dark and stormy.....Meme!
and Cheering Squad Assignment, ggg, GGG, ggg.

Legend:
GGG=Go Gem! Go!
ggg=giggle giggle giggle

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

--Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford
(1830)

Meme description:
You have just finished writing the greatest novel ever written. It is getting rave reviews. War and Peace is mere pulp fiction when compared to your novel. Nobel Officials created a new category to award your work for they felt it would far overshadow previous works awarded for fiction if yours was awarded in the same category. Accolades and reviews for your novel pour in along with one unanimous criticism -- your novel has the worst opening sentence in an equally atrocious first paragraph, ever.

Your mission for this meme (and Cheering Squad assignment ggg, GGG) is to post your completed meme starting Sept 24. This should allow ample time for you and your tags to play along. I know we can get a little tag heavy at times, but this should be easy and quick--hopefully very funny too.

Rules:

1. Choose two genres from the ones listed below in #4

2. Come up with a suitable title for a different novel for each of your genre choices.

3. Write a different opening 'atrocious' paragraph of your 'highly praised novel' in context to each genre you chose, paying particular attention to the "Dark and stormy" quality of your first sentence of your paragraph. Don't just rewrite the "Dark and stormy" sentence for your paragraph. Come up with something new and fresh, but 'atrocious' too. The sentence and paragraph should follow good English grammar rules. Don't just write a grammatical mess of a sentence. Remember, you are a Nobel Prize worthy author.

4. Choose two of the following genres for each of your "Prized Novels": Western, Science Fiction, Romance, Historical Fiction, Modern Contemporary Fiction, Mystery, Comedy, Horror.

5. Post the meme description and rules.

6. Post your first genre choice, title and paragraph, followed by your second genre choice, title and paragraph.

7. Prepare yourself for accolades of laughter and ridicule for your "Highly Praised Novels" atrocious openings.

8. Contact the Nobel Prize officials for you may just continue and write that award winning novel.

9. Tag people, lottsa people. I'm tagging the entire cheering squad, ggg GGG.


Optionally, you could even enter your opening sentence in the formal Bulwer-Lytton contest. Check their site for rules and contest dates.

Cheering Squad members, please make a post out of this meme for Monday September 24 with a good Go Gem! Go! to go with it. Shhh. Don't tell Gale it's a surprise.

So then, I phoned my Lola back and on the phone I said, "I love you, Lola. And guess what, I finished the meme rules and everything."

On the phone, my Lola told me, "That's nice Numbnuttz. Will you be home early tonight?"

I told my Lola that, "I shouldn't be too long, Dimple Bum, why?" Dimple Bum is my pet name for my Lola, but in English.

My Lola told me that they have been working on the locks in our building today, so I'd have to use my elbow to buzz #1212 and she'd buzz me in, but she told me this on the phone.

I said to my Lola on the phone, "They've been working on the locks for sometime now, but why do I have to use my elbow to buzz in?"

My Lola said on the phone, "After phoning me three times over your meme, Numbnuttz, you'd better not be coming home empty handed."

My Lola has been talking to my Bella Nonna, I better go getta some roses.

Ciao

Boy! Tella one Italian joke ana it's hard to get outta character. Being Italian and all.

I will post my completed meme on Sept 24 along with links to all other meme posts that comfirm back to me in comments.