Sunday, January 25, 2009

Work Pressures


Oh!! The pain. One of the many duties that I do have to perform is attend Bridal Fashion Shows. This years was a success with over 600 blushing brides, and impatient grooms going from booth to booth for just the right touch or deal for their wedding. I have attended quite a few shows and manned my booth and did the smiley thing with the brides. This years was a little different, as a rough guess, I would say that almost 80% of the young brides were heavy with child. Every time I asked a bride when the big day was, I wasn't sure if she was going to give me their wedding date or her due date.
I don't remember it being that cold of a summer....Next year I think I'll open a Shot-gun booth at the Bridal Show. I'll make a freaking fortune!!!

TTFN

Friday, January 23, 2009

S. E. R. V. I. C. E.

waiter

As many of you know, I've been in the hospitality industry almost my entire career. The one thing that is instilled from the very beginning is service. I became confused when I heard these terms with reference to the word 'service'.

Internal Revenue 'Service'

U.S. Postal 'Service'

Telephone 'Service'

Cable 'Service'

Civil 'Service'

Customer 'Service'

State, City & County Public 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'service' meant. But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few cows. Bam!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us.

BullsCartoon

I hope you are as enlightened as I am.

TTFN

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Movie Blender

So, sue me. Somebody botched things up in the editing room. All of the current projects got mixed up due to a shipping accident from the studio to editing room. As promotional manager for Foxxfyrre Studios, I've done the best I could to patch up this mess with little time to due it. First run trailers are due tomorrow. It's not like I'm not used to all nighter's. I just hope the editor's have sorted the dailys properly.
Hmm. I only have four trailers here, there was supposed to be eight. Let's see what they've done so I can get the narrative written for the trailers. I guess, I might as well start. Run it Lola!

Trailer Narrative #1

A young married couple struggles with the pressures of looking after Gilbert's dysfunctional family. His Mother an overweight, overbearing, bedridden recluse. His brother autistic and difficult. Can they survive the pressure, or does a growing dependence on alcohol threaten their marriage in later years.

Tagline: You want a nice Merlot with your McDonnald's Ma?

Trailer Narrative #2

Meet the Janes. Three attactive young middle American ladies that made their way to New York to find fame and fortune on Broadway but to no avail. Failed relationships, intrusive mothers, and other pressures lead them to enlist to become the only women to enter training for the Navy Seals. Can they get past basic training? Will their drill instuctors break their will? Or will the power of the dolls break them first.

Tagline: Get down and give me 10

Trailer Narrative #3

Everyone's favorite cheerleader is at it again. Finally having raised enough money to enter the foreign student exchange program, Debbie and the gang make it to London. From Fish and Chips to Beefeater's -- and we don't mean the gin -- the girls tumble and split their way through Foggy Town. But they're not the only Americans in London, and after frolicking through their first full moon in England, we will see if Debbie will ever want to do it doggy style ever again!

Tagline--My what a big nose you have.

Trailer Narrative #4

The brain sucking, chest bursting Alien Queen has evaded Ripley and made her way to earth! East L.A. to be exact, and her first contact on Terra Firma is none other than our favorite pot heads Teech and Thong. Will her instincts prevail and spawn a race of predators bent on brain feasting Southern California, or will Teech and Thong just give her a good case of the munchies.

Tagline: Put down that roach, you bitch.


I wonder what editing did with the other four trailer's? I quess we'll just have to run with these.


TTFN


Thursday, January 01, 2009

The "Cocky" Swan


The Swan

The many years that I spent working in and around bars, I have always had lots of fun and heard many a yarn or two. Most of the time I would listen, add my two cents, or throw in a zinger to either get the subject changed, stop an argument, or just to have my own fun (at the patrons expense, of course).
A few years ago, I had the pleasure of having two attractive young ladies sitting at my bar and both women were getting happy and a little daring in their conversation. They were both in their early twenties, and proud of being young and "trendy". They started talking about their secret hidden tattoos and piercings, and the advantage that these items bring to the boudoir. The ladies knew that I was paying attention to I was ignoring their conversation, and I think that they were purposely trying to get a reaction out of me. We'll call these ladies B and the other R.

B: And I just got a new ball for my tongue ring, my BF says that it has doubled his pleasure.
R: My BF got a new spikey ball for his, and I'll say it has really doubled my pleasure that's for sure.
B: Last year I got a little 'one-way' arrow tattooed just below my navel pointing -- I think you know where. At least my BF doesn't need a map anymore.
Frank: (giggle)
R: At least you didn't have to get one on your lower back saying "No Entry"
Frank (giggling, again): I just got a new swan tatoo.
B: Do we need to guess where?
R (to B): Bartender thinks he's a long neck -- If you know what I mean.
Frank (to R): Sometimes.
B and R (together): Sometimes?
Frank: Yeah. Sometimes it says SASKATCHEWAN.

ttfn
(AND IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK)
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